stjy

goodbye.

2009-11-21T05:55:00.000-08:00

oh where oh where have we all gone to?

http://flywithscissors.blogspot.com/ :)

2009-09-11T05:28:00.000-07:00

it's quite scary how much hair you can pull of your head without trying to.

2009-09-07T06:00:00.000-07:00

whoa. This is better then American Idol. i bet Michelle would be jealous, haha. ;)

NO3

2009-09-06T02:14:00.000-07:00

i'm still debating on when to show my parents m T3 results.

and no, i dont want to talk about it.

en dre;

2009-08-18T05:50:00.000-07:00

blogger is still screwed.

after all i've done, will you still remember?

blogger is screwed.

2009-08-07T05:54:00.000-07:00

what the ass?
i typed that nicely in my other post and it disappeared.
it's like blogger knows.
gosh.
well, it is screwed okay.
face it blogger.
please fix the problem.
before i make the title above in caps.

:)

2009-08-07T05:51:00.000-07:00

it feels nice to have accomplished something every once in a while.

cancel this out;

2009-08-03T18:27:00.000-07:00

you jealous assH.
you didnt get it then too bad.
stop spoiling it for the rest of us.
stop making life miserable for her, too.
you are you to own someone else?
you think she belongs to you only?
she's a friking person too you know.
if she doesnt want to be with you then that's your problem.
stop making it our involvement.
life's not fair, okay?
so shut up.
i've been tolerating you long enough.
you think you deserve more than others do?
just stop being so desperate and selfish okay.
i've just had enough with you.
dont make me snap.
it'll be really ugly.

post;

2009-07-31T05:59:00.000-07:00

happiness comes after depression.

yup.
---

fooled around with fuzzy during home ec and recess.
mostly started off from sofea's amazing looking cookbook and sarah's amazing cookies.
"DESTINYYYY" :D

after school played bball turned football with D and FA. haha. should play more often seh.
---

band:]

kind of got high. must have been the cake. :/
---

ever kept a secret, and then one day someone (who knows absolutely NOTHING about it) talks to you about something related to it?

warning;

2009-07-24T07:45:00.001-07:00

i'm tired.
tabs isnt back yet.
the songs havent been uploaded.
nvu and filezilla arent doing their jobs.
song typing is annoying.
my rib bone hurts.
i'm bound to get cramps tomorrow.
i dont know why i'm ranting here.
blogger's still screwed.
ironically the media playlist seems to keep hitting me with happy songs.
i think my mp3 has a mind of its own.
like when i had a bad day, it shuffled to "the lining is silver" by relient k.
weird.
but useful, if anything.
apparently alot of people think i'm very free.
no, i'm not.
if you're asking me why then am i here it's because i need to rant out my exhaust.
my phone's still spoiled.
sony ericsson phones are seriously undurable.
the repair shop isnt doing their job.
i want to sue them.
they could at least trade in a new phone that'll work.
hopefully it'll be more durable this time.
i'm hungry.
i dont know why i was feeling so full during dinner.
because of that i didnt eat much.
so now i'm hungry.
but i shouldnt eat because you're not supposed to eat late at night.
had napfa today.
passed, so that's that.
30 sit ups at one go my stomach area went really tight after that.
dont know if that's a good thing because later had band.
i know having your diaphragm tight is good for playing but stomach muscles?
close enough.
was super high this morning.
i wonder what happened to my high-ness.
if my fingers werent moving now my whole body might as well be some prehistoric rock.
with caveman carvings, at least i'll become some museum artefact.
stones are so...

wow.
my media player just played "more than useless" .
what's up with that???
---

I feel like, I would like
To be somewhere else doing something that matters
And I'll admit here, while I sit here
My mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather

Whats the purpose? It feels worthless
So unwanted like I've lost all my value
I can't find it, not in the least bit
and I'm just scared, so scared that I'll fail you

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

So I say if I can't, do something significant
I'll opt to leave most opportunities wasted
And nothing trival, that life could give me will
Measure up to what might have replaced it

Too late look, my date book
Is packed full of days that were empty and now gone
And I bet, that regret
Will prove to get me to improve in the long run

And sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all
And sometimes I wonder why, why I'm even here at all
But then you assure me

I'm a little more than useless
And when I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

I notice, I know this
Week is a symbol of how I use my time
Resent it, I spent it
Convincing myself the world's doing just fine
Without me
Doing anything of any consequence
Without me
Showing any sign of ever making sense
Of my time , it's my life
And my right, to use it like I should
Like he would, for the good
Of everything that I would ever know

I'm a little more than useless
When I think that I can't do this
You promise me that I'll get through this
And do something right
Do something right for once

I'm a little more than useless
And I never knew I knew this
Was gonna the day, gonna be the day
That I would do something right
Do something right for once

More Than Useless - Relient K

delidrium;

2009-07-23T05:19:00.000-07:00

Chinese worker commits suicide over missing iPhone

----
what has the world gone into?
gosh.

blogger is screwed.

anyway.
tried a new route for 2.4km, apparently it's running 4 rounds now, but the road is more curlywurly then before.
and for some reason i got tired way faster than running 6 rounds round the school. dont even try asking about running at the park.
i'd rather go run the whole pasir ris park than run 4 curlywurly rounds lah please.
it's crazy what your mind can do to you.

so annoying.
nevermind.
because in my heart, i know
I CAN DO IT
hahaha, because pasir ris park tells me so.
sucks to you, school route.

i think i'm getting annoyed very easily now.
best of all it never seems to show.
:/

i just want to tell some people to lay their hands off and shut their mouths tight.
because i might just be moving to the IMH soon enough.

----
on the brighter note,
band tomorrow. ms sia's birthday:]
i wonder how they know when her birthday is. :|
well.
on the not-so-bright note.
napfa 5 items tomorrow.
not sure if still can go band.
darn.

bORH...

2009-07-22T02:21:00.000-07:00

i think i want a psp.
or at least a nintendo.
hahahhahahahaha gosh what am i saying.
I'M BORED.

boredom is the root of all mischief.

2009-06-30T02:52:00.000-07:00

shrink;

i realised having lack of inspiration can really taste like shit. :(

anyway.
maths today was fun esp sitting next to peishan:D
kept on singing 1,2,3,4 by PWT with her.
sarah and sasha kept on turning behind giving us the "whatttt," look like we were crazy or something.
sasha: whoever put the two of you together made a HUGE mistake.
me: we put ourselves together. :]
sasha: i thought that she'll (ps) go crazy with your singing but nooooo. she joined you!
hahaha. i've met my class singing buddy:D
peishan was really funny applying the maths lesson (similarity) to she and her spects.
peishan: (puts on spects) i'm really similar to my grandma. she's just abit bigger, vertically and horizontally.
hahah, that's not alot to begin with:) heehee.
---

2009-06-29T05:28:00.000-07:00

back gate;

"did you do homework?"
"what homework?"
---

first day of school was really slack actually. it started out well cause chinese period got off from temperature taking and blah.
talking to fuzzy was crazy shit. :D
F: (quoting from her primary school english tb) open your mouth and close your eyes, and i'll give you a BIG surprise!
the times when we still had our innocence:] haha, the way she said the sentence actually made it sound so obscene okay.
F: (explaining) and then at the side of that sentence, there was this picture of two guys, and one of them was holding out a sweet and feeding the other guy!
tsktsktsk. i thought primary school was supposed to have good, clean texts.
ah well.
---

you cant tie shoes with straight laces.

2009-06-28T02:58:00.000-07:00

immunity;

i dont wanna go to school tomorrow. :(

2009-06-25T03:48:00.000-07:00

immobile;
you could close your eyes and run, it's more easy that way. but then you'll crash eventually.
--

the video is funny okay:]

2009-06-25T02:50:00.000-07:00

the crematorium looked like a hotel. :|
--

i kind of wish that there'll be an extended period off school. i honestly need the time.

i just failed my heymaths test. 12 out of 30. i dont know if i'm supposed to do the actual thing on fullscap. it'll just add on to my workload.

leah told me that in the Philippines, the kids are seriously enjoying their youth because once school is out it's play time man. so unlike here in Singapore. system is kiasu, schools are kiasu, teachers are kiasu, parents are kiasu. only make students do more work. in the end the students also become kiasu. not good.

i hope i wont forget anything i'm supposed to know for youth anni.

i have seriously forgotten all my math fomulas.
--

one day, MOE decides to raise awareness on the amount of stress schools are imparting upon their students.
MOE: The students of today's schools are getting more and more stressed each day. as a result during the exams they cant cope because they're too tired and suffer from tiredness and mental blocks. therefore, i shall issue to all principals to lower the work loads in their schools.
Principals: Less homework?
MOE: Less homework.
Principals: Less extra classes?
MOE: Less extra classes.
Principals: Less projects?
MOE: DEFINATELY less projects.
and so, with the principals all clear on the issue, the new standards are put into usage.
a few weeks later...
PrincipalOfHighEndSchool(POHES): last time, people would work so hard just to enter our school. now, it's just whoever does the best. my reputation and income could be getting lower. i know, i shall push the students just a little bit so that they'll work just a little bit harder than the other schools and so the results on the average will be just a little bit higher than the other schools.
and so, the POHES did that and in no time, the school became just a little bit better than other other schools.
meanwhile, this went noticed by another Principal of another high end school.
PrincipalOfAnotherHighEndSchool(POAHES): it looks like POHES has pushed the students just a little bit harder than us so that their students will become just a little bit better than our students. i know, i'll push our students just a little bit more harder so that we can keep up.
and so, the list went on, which each Principal pushing their students a little bit more harder each time to catch up because they were all too kiasu(scared to lose), kiabomin(scared no reputation) and kiabolui(scared no money).
see lahh. >:(

2009-06-18T20:55:00.000-07:00

somethings arent to be read;

公公
Hey.
How's the new life?
I know you must be happier now. At least, better than being sickly and weak and having tubes stuck onto you. Oh, and having to eat hospital food. That must have been bad.
I remember when I saw you on the hospital bed. What had happened to the lively, healthy granddad that I knew? And yet, you were still the same person, the same Godly man who continued to trust in Him. Although He didnt let you cheat death, He brought you to a much better, eternal life.
Sorry for not having treasured all those grandparent-grandchild bonding moments while I still had them. It only seems like now when I can actually remember them. I guess it's true when they say, "we only treasure what we have when it's being taken away from us."
But at least you were taken away by a nice man, to a nice place where all is nice. And you can now dance and jump and never feel tired, and feast on meals far better than hospital food.
We still have to be thankful to Him though. 87 is a very ripe age. Although we cant choose how or when we die, we can choose where we end up after that, and I'm sure your life has brought you to that desired place.
Oh, and hey, I'm sure when you get your new body, you'll have a much better heart too:)
PS: When you get to meet Him in person, help me say thanks to Him for giving me such a wonderful granddad like you.

2009-06-18T04:08:00.000-07:00

not me;

i wish for a door inside my closet,
that no one else can see.
i'll go there everyday alone,
for hours there i'll be.
it'll always defy time and space,
it'll be built from imagination.
its world and reality may mix and twine,
but nothing bad will happen.
i'll control everything that goes on,
inside this world of mine.
even if it's good or bad,
i'll go in and out still fine.
people may try to find this door,
and meet with a white wall.
cause only i decide what intervenes,
cause inside i built it all.

2009-06-17T05:36:00.000-07:00

some____

when you look out into the night sky, sometimes you can see stars.
and there are some stars that are closer to Earth than others, especially the 'brighter' and 'bigger' ones.
stars are actually great balls of fire, of exploding rock, shooting them out every now and then.
and you think, how is it that the rocks arent coming down and hitting me, even when i am close enough to see the star?

i think somewhere out there, someone actually cared enough to put us in a place where we could enjoy the beauty of creation, yet be totally safe from its power.

that someone, is really awesome.

2009-06-15T01:43:00.000-07:00

sometimes, while you're doing your holiday homework/revision, you gotta ask yourself:

what exactly ARE the teachers doing right now?

you know, it's just a simple question.
after all, it is the school holidays.
the time of the year the teachers get a break off us.

i've been wondering. ever since the 'last' day of school.
what do you think?

2009-06-06T08:08:00.002-07:00

samantha will officially be
MIA-ing
till june 11th or so.
(MIA would stand for In Malaysia Action-ing, which of course would have become IMA, but sam thinks it sounds better anyway.)

hooo.

2009-06-02T07:02:00.000-07:00

yesterday.
okay.
so apparently everyone is mistaking the theme for something else.
so now i'm confused.
because now i think the one they're mistaking it for sounds better.
and i made the new logo with that theme.
although the interpretation is pretty much the same, so..

went to nat's house today to redo logo.
somehow we would have met at the mrt but since she didnt see me i tried to see how far i could 'stalk' her before we reached her house. haha:]
apparently she was teaching her maid how to take mrt.
oh well.

today.
band yeahh:]
lunch was really quiet during the eating part, except for cherlyn exclaiming now and then.
see what a big difference the sec 4s make?? :D

Hippo adventures I;

2009-05-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

heh. something i came up with this afternoon. there's more to come.
Enjoy:]

so why are you running away;

2009-05-29T01:16:00.000-07:00

comparison for the pessimist, connection for the optimist.
-------
made fish tofu burger for home ec. it's not as bad tasting as it sounds, heh.
eunice is a damn good cook, yeah:]

sigh. why do i always get caught in the middle?
i seriously hate that.
being in between a social situation.
two towers having a war with each other, and me in the center of it all.
it's a wonder i havent been shot by an arrow yet.

played flip the coin during recess with fiqah, chuyi and addie, were we'd ask a question and fiq would flip two coins. two heads: yes, one head: maybe, no heads: no. haha, nothing to be taken seriously, but it was retardedly fun.

operation cleanup.
i dont know why they want to try and give it a 'cool' name for it, because firstly, it doesnt even sound cool and secondly, it makes us all go "uh, whatever."
luckily 21nians make almost everything fun:D
sang 'work songs' and other random songs whlie cleaning up the classroom.

i heart 2e1!!!

results day = dooms day.
heh, turns out it wasnt so bad.
but why do i have a feeling i'll regret saying this later?
huh.

last day of school.
hugged lots of people today:]
i'm going to miss you peeps!
dont get upset over the results okay.
next semester can do better:D

why do i have a horrible feeling that i'm going to contradict every happy thing i said here very soon?

-------
edit-
why do they always compare the student's individual results to the rest of the cohort's?
it's so unfair..
it like at first, i thought my results were okay. i mean hey, i DID improve from last term's.
but then i bring it home, show my parents, and they all start going about how much better i COULD have done, start asking why i didnt do better,
"this is careless, you could have gotten higher"
"just two more marks to get an A. just TWO MORE MARKS."
"why are you at a band 4? that's like the lower 50% of the cohort you know."
"your results may be okay, but look, rest of the cohort's ahead. you have to catch up!"
UGHHHHHH.
look, i tried my best, i passed, i got reasonable if not good grades, i got eligible for a triple science class.
yes, i know i could do better, i know i must try to improve.
but is it so HARD just to say
"you tried your best. i'm proud of you."
at least something abit encouraging? is it SO HARD??
do they have any idea how demoralising it is when our efforts go unappreciated?
i just want to get away fmo here, to my secret place, and just cry, scream, whatever myself out.
God...
i hate it.
just earlier today i was happy about my results and trying to comfort people who werent so happy with theirs.
just earlier today i was smiling.
but now.
why do i end up contradicting myself?
-------
edit-
hey lavelle.
thanks for reminding me:]
i feel much better now.
thanks for being there for me and for all your encouragement.
i shall remember the happy pills,
hope you do too:D
dont care about that that old auntie teacher lah.
she can go let her old old heart get the better of her.
then we go ship her off to Madagascar and hopefully she'll become young and rejuvinated again and become a nice, young person.
then you wont have to be scared.
thats's our plan okay?
set ahh. just dont tell her. shh-- :D

one chapter;

2009-05-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

"Dear,"
Lea stared up into the eyes of her mother. the innocence of the 5 year old seemed to show with every pupil opened.
"Yes, Momma?"
"How was school?"
She rested her rag doll in her tiny palms and glanced up at the ceiling, a habit she had when remembering. "We learnt a lot of stuff," She smiled. "like... counting, reading, coloring, spelling,..." her blue eyes brightened. "i know how to spell Astronaut, Mom! it's A...S...T...R...O...N...U...T, Astronaut!"
Threasa laughed softly. "Are you so sure?"
Lea paused. "No.. Oh, it's N-A-U-T, right?"
"that's my smart little girl. What did you read about today?"
"Ms Lou read to us the story about this three kitties," Lea's eyes lightened and darkened with every glance. "they were going to have dinner, and one of them was SOOO hungry, that he ate the huge fish that they were going to share. At first, he lied and said he didnt eat it, but later, he said he was sorry and told his friends that he would always tell the truth from now on. That's going to be my favourite book, Ma," she grinned.
Her mother smiled back,"I'll get it for you when i see it at the bookshop today."
"T's okay. Ms Lou said she could lend it to us. Momma, today i drew a picture of us!" The preschooler dropped her doll and reached for a crumply paper just across the floor tile. "Look, ma. that's me, and you," She skipped to Threasa's side and pointed out two rather crudely drawn stick figures, but nonetheless valuable in sentiment.
The mother caught sight of a rather odd pose. "Lea, darling. why did you draw mommy holding lots of money?"
Her daughter giggled. "Because you always work so hard and earn so much for us." Lea snuggled up to her mother's side, and she responded by running her fingers through her hair and pecking her on the cheek. "Where'd you get this idea from?" She thought.
"Momma?"
Threasa looked down to Lea. "Yes?"
"Today Alexa said that the people in Langkong were bad."
"Why did she say that?"
"She said that lots of people there did naughty stuff, and were no good. Don't they have naughty corners for those people there momma?"
"I'm sure they would have. But, Lea, just because someone goes to or lives in Langkong it does not mean that they are bad, okay?"
The latter nodded. "Yes, Ma."
"Now, you go back to playing your toys, okay? AhMinah's going to arrive soon and Momma's leaving for work when she comes."
"Will you put my drawing on the fridge?"
"Sure-" ding dong.
Threasa got up with the picture and opened the door to welcome the elderly woman in. After exchanging greetings, she hung the picture on the fridge door just as she promised, and got ready for work.
Upon leaving, she kissed Lea on the forehead. "Be good okay?" She closed the front door behind her.
Lea turned her head to the white board of wood. "I'll miss you, Ma."
--
The taxi arrived not long after Threasa came down the first floor.
"Where will you be going to ma'am?" the driver asked.
"Just drop me off Elis Avenue. I'll walk the rest of the way."
He grinned. "people nowadays, too busy to go for a proper exercise, no?"
Threasa shrugged. The walking bit was going to go her good.
But maybe it was more because of the fact that it was on another district, a short walking distance away from Langkong.

Crack;

2009-05-26T01:52:00.000-07:00

"eating is so magical, you put the food into your mouth and it disappears!"
- daphnecheongMUNYI, super funny extraordinaire. the best part about it is that she has no idea:]

lets start with the day before:
hahaha, free double periods are the best man:D
Lavelle came over and the three of us (L, D, S) started crapping about crazy stuff, like kpo chers and diagnosis.
so yeah, you can read about it on L's blog, which is here.
haha, at the end of the day, we still havent gave L her pills!
daphne, if the two of us ever worked together in a clinic, the patient will die man. :O
"samantha's gonna be a doctor, daphne's gonna be a dentist.
and im going to own the sweet shop in between their clinics!"
ripped from L's blog.
okay, so like the sweets in L's shop will attract the little kids to buy and eat them, and then the kids will have toothaches and diarrhea(or maybe diabetes. shh.) and so will have to visit D and me respectively.
see? thanks to L we'll all have good profit. our future business plan rocks:D heh, suddenly she charge 10% from us then we know:X

today:
"let's go to candy mountain!"
brought daryl to school. (hippo!:D)
everyone who laid their hands on him pretty much violated him :\ for the first time i just realised how big his butt was. No wonder!
it's really soft, too.
during lit was giving crappy answers to Fuzzy's Qs.
farzana is super crazy yes she is, haha:D
apparently she's scared of the way i laugh. ah well.
after school hung out at the canteen with cheryl, daphne, farzana, and lavelle. damn funny lah you four. :D

what would i do (or have done) without my friends?

2009-05-22T06:24:00.000-07:00

therefore i am;

josiah is pointing at the screen now and laughing. i wonder what he's laughing at. it's just annoying.

during recess i went high with GreenTea and chuyi's LemonTea.
i made them both propose to each other.

i think before we go on, you should be warned on the numerous number of 'i think's coming up on the next lines.
i think i want to do alot of touching up on art.
i think school is taking up too much time then what it deserves. (not counting cca)
i think band today was satisfactory.
i think the fact the rei xue can sing was quite surprising at first.
i think i shall get her to sing after band or something.
i think i'm not ready to hit sec 3 anytime soon.
i think i'm itching to doodle.
i think the finalised logo looks weird.
i think i have some homework that needs to be done by monday.
i think i left them all in school.
i think i feel very unprepared for some unknown reason.
i think i want a time-stretching machine very badly.
i think i'm getting annoyed by people on msn who are sending me stupid horny spam messages because they have a virus and are not bothering to clear it.
i think i'm getting annoyed very easily.
i think my english vocab is shrinking.
i think my chinese vocab has shrunk beyond recognition.
i think i really dont want sarah to take IP.
i think i dont want anyone i know to take that IP thing.
i think i'm being selfish for wanting to stop them.
i think i am a selfish person.
i think i'd better not be so selfish and start thinking of their interests.
i think this was what made me give way so easily last time.
i think last time, i was more generous, until i got fed up with myself and started being selfish.
i think last time i was also very girly. i remember i would wear all these dresses and put on makeup.
i think it was horrible the way i did my own makeup.
i think it was because i was only 6 years old.
i think childhood innocence is what makes little kids wear even the most hideous looking outfits outside just because their parents said they looked great in it.
i think self conscience and knowledge defies childish innocence.
i think it was like adam and eve, they traded innocence for knowledge.
i think it would be nice to become a little kid again.
i think i was happier then, because i knew no worries or fear.
i think.

we laugh so that we wont cry;

2009-05-18T06:34:00.000-07:00

OH GOSH JOSIAH PLEASE STOP WHINING FOR ATTENTION ESPECIALLY SINCE MUM AND DAD ARE BUSY WATCHING SOME KOREAN DRAMA WITH JIE(err, da chang jing. yeah.) BECAUSE YOUR ANNOYING BRATTINESS HAS OBVIOUSLY SEEPED INTO BEING SUPER ANNOYING AND IF THERE'S ONE PERSON'S ATTENTION YOU HAVE IT IS MINE AND THAT, I ASSURE YOU, IS NOT A VERY NICE THING.
JUST SHUT UP, OR GO AWAY, BECAUSE WITH YOU AROUND I CANT HEAR MYSELF THINK, AND IT IS DRIVING ME NUTS.
AND CAN YOU STOP BEING SO RUDE? WHAT DO THEY TEACH YOU AT SCHOOL HUH? DO THEY TEACH YOU HOW TO BE RUDE AND ANNOYING AND BE A BLOODY EXAMPLE OF A BROTHER?
JUST BECAUSE DAD AND MOM ARENT AS STRICT WITH YOU AS THEY WERE TO JIE AND ME IT GIVES YOU ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT TO HAVE NO RESPECT FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE OLDER THAN YOU. YOU DONT EVEN RESPECT YOUR PARENTS FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DONT DESERVE THE GRACE THEY'VE GIVEN YOU. THEY ARE GENEROUS WITH GIVING IT TO YOU BUT YOU JUST TAKE IT AND FLING IT AWAY. YOU TAKE IT FOR ADVANTAGE. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DESERVE? YOU DESERVE A THRASHING. DAD AND MUM CAINED ME LAST TIME WHEN I WAS RUDE AND LOOK HOW MUCH I'VE LEARNT FORM THAT. CAINING WILL DO YOU GOOD. IT WILL TO ALOT OF GOOD. I MYSELF WOULD LIKE TO DO THE HONORS BUT I'LL LEAVE IT TO THEM TO DECIDE WHEN ENOUGH IS (FINALLY) ENOUGH. YOU COULD SAY I'M SADISTIC BUT IT IS WHAT YOU DESERVE BADLY, AND HONESTLY, IT'LL REALLY REALLY DO YOU GOOD.
YOU BETTER LEARN TO WISEN UP SOONER BECAUSE SOMEDAY, YOUR RUDENESS WILL GET THE BETTER OF YOU. YOU BETTER LEARN TO RESPECT YOUR ELDERS BEFORE THE REST OF THE WORLD LOSES ITS RESPECT FOR YOU, BECAUSE HONESTLY I HAVE ALMOST NOTHING LEFT FOR YOU.

D:<

Propaganda;

2009-05-18T06:05:00.000-07:00

i have writing/drawing withdrawal symptoms.
i found out a few days ago during chinese class.
after lending my text book to sasha, i shared with chuyi.
then i forgot that it was hers, and started doodling.
S: *doodle doodle*
C: ... er, sam. you do know that that is MY book you're doodling on?
S: *stops*... ...oh. CRAPPP. D:
after that i had to constantly remind myself that it was not my book and thus i had to stop doodling for the rest of the period.
of which my right hand started to twitch and that.
WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS GAHH. D:

today:
Peter!!!!! :D
daphne and her folded animal-like thingie.
she's super hilarious man:]
Peter's so cute, in a weird, paper origami sort of way.
haha.
so today, the good:
daphne and peter:]
sarah being high:] (at least, during maths)
not having to present SAIL today:D:D:D
after class minis:]
art class:] (eunice and her supercoolandawesome design sketches:D)
finishing maths file:D (HARRRLLELUJAH!)
and the bad:
Mrs Hoy being in a bad mood:(
not getting CA results back:(
rushing about:(
MT class:(((
wasting paper:((((((((((((((((((((((((((

it was a great day.

------------------------------------------

what do you do if someone come up to you,
she starts telling you how much her life sucks,
and how much she hates herself?
what do you do if you just stand there and listen,
and you want so much to say something helpful,
but your mind is blank?
what do you do if you tried giving her advice,
but you said something stupid instead?
what do you do if there becomes silence,
and it starts feeling more and more awkward,
and then she just says some one word that to you,
sounds really disappointed?
what do you do if she just stands up,
says, "nevermind, sorry for bothering you",
and leaves?
what do you do if you just wanted so badly to say something to reassure her,
before she leaves completely,
but your mouth still runs dry?

what do you do if she was your friend,
and that incident left you feeling guilty and pathetic?

2009-05-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day
If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side
If today was your last day
and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?

Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

Don't take the free ride in your own life
-Nickelback, If Today was Your Last Day

2009-05-05T02:59:00.000-07:00

finally;

please just leave me for a while?
it's not very easy to stay cool all the time when i'm trying not to look bothered.
it's not you, it's just something about you that just twitches me.
it's not like you really did anything, that is rather upsetting.
i just need some 'me' time, if you get what i mean.
i mean, the problem here is not about who you are,
it's more about what you've done, a bit too much of it.
like when you melt sugar to make caramel? sweet, smooth caramel?
but melting it too long will decompose it into black poison?
yeah, it's an analogy.
so please?
i dont mean anything bad by it.
i just need you to back off, maybe for a while.
i dont know about you, but i want my space, and i need it.
i wont say anything even if you ask, so please just take the hint.
please take the hint calmly and understand, okay?
we still can be friends, but even friends need to respect each other's needs and tolerance.
"melt your sugar sparingly"
yeah?

2009-04-30T06:39:00.001-07:00

life is like a highway.
that's true, but here's what they dont tell you.
life's a smooth highway with invisible open manholes placed at random areas.
so you get into your car,
start the engine,
and off you go.
unaware of how far you can make it before falling into your first manhole.
and then after that, after hours of trying to crawl out of the manhole, and eventually coming out,
you drive again, till you meet with another manhole.
sometimes you miss the manhole, sometimes you fall in again.
and you know the story from there.
it goes on and on, until you meet your final destination.
where that will be, i dont know.

2009-04-30T06:33:00.000-07:00

God, why?
why, why, why.
why does life always crash when it seems at it's highest?
why?

oh God i feel like crying.

2009-04-30T06:23:00.000-07:00

you know that feeling, where your head gets all foggy up front and you cant really think,
yet at the back of your head so much is stirring up?
i think there's something cooking in there.
great, i've found my mind's kitchen.
i wonder what they're cooking, make so much smoke until i couldnt think for the whole damn day.
the least the could do was get an oven of something.
so much smoke, god.
--

you know numbness?
when your fingers go cold and your legs feel like they arent supporting you anymore, cause you cant really feel them?
and your heart feels like it's stopped beating, like you should be dead, but here you are?
and all your senses seem to go haywire,
like your vision blurs around the edges,
and the sounds you hear seem to echo and amplify?
like you're not really there at all,
and yet, at the whole time,
here you are?

2009-04-30T06:01:00.000-07:00

while we have our paths;

i thought the right thing was always the best thing.
i thought honesty was always good.
i thought that they might at least have been somewhat understanding.
i thought that she would have at least taken to point that i was being honest with her.
i thought that she would understand.
i thought that they wouldnt have taken it to bad.
i thought that she would know at least what not to do, what not to say.
i thought that she had some sensitivity in her.
i thought that i wouldnt have to continue hiding everything.
i thought that they would have at least given me a slightest thought.
i thought that they gave me a chance to have my say.
i thought that they would give me a chance to really be straight with them.
i thought that they would give me the space i needed.
i thought that they would have learnt something from the past experiences.
i thought that they would know how i really meant.
i thought that they would have been listening.

i thought that i wouldnt have to continue it this bad anymore.
i thought that it was just a stage.
i thought that it was over.
i thought that it would all become better.
i thought that what i did was the right thing.
i thought that it was right that i had thought of them.
i thought that it would be okay.
i thought that it was going to be uphill for now.
i thought that it was going to be alright.

i thought that i would have been understood.
but i guess i'm wrong.
again.

2009-04-28T06:53:00.000-07:00

hysteria;

note: the following is completely fictional and may or may not have been based on real life. all similarities to reality are coincidental and who knows? maybe it will happen.

someday.

---------
ah. they're giving back out the project marks.
i smiled to myself. this shouldnt be too bad. i'm pretty sure i had done rather well for this one.
i remember all the effort i spent on this particular school project. all the past test hadnt gone too well on my subject, but with this project, it was bound to pull up my marks.
finally, it was my turn.
"register 34!"
i walked up to the teacher's desk, already feeling rather confident for once.
"here's your marks,"
great! now to read the score. out of 50 marks, i obtained...
"...erm, mrs? i think there's some sort of a mistake."
the teacher looked at my paper and squinted.
"register 34, class 21. right?"
i nodded in agreement.
"there's no mistake."
i stared hard at my paper.
"this has to be a joke," i pointed a finger straight at my obtained marks. "some stupid, sick joke. it's not funny, okay. this is.. below, my self expectations. WAY below. far from being acceptable. i mean, come on!
you cant be telling me i FAILED this project?"
"there's no need to make a fuss."
"a FUSS? i'm on the verge of failing a subject that will keep me from being promoted to my next school level and you're telling me not to make a fuss??? Did you know how many BLOODY hours i spent pouring over that project? Do you have any FRICKIN idea how much enerygy i put into this??"
"dont you dare use-"
"i dont fuggin CARE about damn vulgarities!! i will not leave you or this place until you give me my deserved marks! i WILL NOT have all the damn time of my life spent wasted on a crappy project that i actually BOTHERED to do with hard effort!"
i could feel a scream almost escaping my throat.
"i am going to take you to the principle."
"no, you make her come here. i've told you, i am not going anywhere, neither are you."
"this has gone too far-"
she got up and headed off to the office.
"where the F- do you think you're going?!?!?"
she had left already. off to get reinforcements to restrain a quickly maddening student.
"you think i'll stop here today?? i WILL get my marks, whether you like it or not! and you WILL sign your signature of approval for the mark change, and i WILL MAKE SURE!! YOU CAN GO RUN IF YOU WANT, BECAUSE YOU BETTER BLOODY WATCH OUT, I WILL GET WHAT I'VE WORKED SO HARD TO DESERVE!! YOU HEAR ME???"
by now i was screaming into stunned silence, the teacher had left long ago, the next door students, teachers and my own classmates staring at me in shocked faces, for never had they ever seen the girl they thought to be mild to have so much fury.
---------

2009-04-27T05:28:00.000-07:00

dear aunt agony;

okay, so basically, i have a problem.
or rather, my friend has a problem.

you see, last month she and a group of classmates decided that after the CAs were over, they would head over to one of their houses and spend some fun time together.
the plan has been going on for about a month now, but just recently she also found out that a youth camp was being held during that day. Both activities are full day, and to go half of one before going to the other's remaining half would be inappropriate.
her parents know nothing of her initial plans with her classmates, and they have told her that it was okay for her not to go for the youth camp, but they also mentioned studying at home instead.
on the other hand, they also said that it was not good to go to either feeling distracted or guilty.
but when she sees the situation, it's practically a lose-lose one. if she goes for the outing with her friends, she will probably spend the day feeling guilty about it.
but if she goes for the youth camp, she also feels that she might end up going there out of duty and not even half-heartedly, and that she will probably feel bad about missing out all the activities that her friends would be doing without her. Also, she doesnt want to tell her friends the real reason why if she was not to go for the outing, because it might give a bad impression to them about youth group and church.

so, she doesnt know what to do.
but i dont really know what to tell her.

2009-04-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

untitled;

my blog is like so dead.
seriously.
and it's nopt only because of exams.
i am such a lazy bugger.

or maybe is because i just dont like my own life story.
-----

okay, so here's the thing.
last week i...
went running. (fun)
went to youth outing. (more fun)
did homework. (blah)
got scolded by some people. (not fun)
got depressed. (mmm.)
got high. (whee~)
got a taste of what it was like to go through menopause without even having it. (erm, yay? educational tour, i think.)

my life ROCKS.

2009-04-09T06:33:00.000-07:00

find;
it's not about what you get, it's about what you do with it.
-----------
yesterday:
sports day is damn boring kay.
i've been stoning at the top of the stands throughout the whole time.
if i hadnt had brought some paper and pens i'd probably would've died.
and there's the stupid loudspeaker that is really damn LOUD and ANNOYING.
if i had something sharp with me like a *ahem*penknife*ahem* i would have cut the wire straight away and solve all problems. (and the whole stadium shall cheer)
chuyi and i were thinking of ways to block out the sounds. at first she took her extra shirt and tried to wrap it around her ears, then later we wanted to throw in whatever junk we could find into the speaker so that it'll fill up and hopefully cover up the noise. (if it doesnt explode from the super high frequencies, that is.)
in the end i just plugged in earphones and blasted the mp3. the teachers dont care anymore that the whole stadium's using electronic stuff throughout the whole time.
i bet if a teacher walked through the stands just once she'll emerge with enough phones and ipods and whathaveyou to sell to pawn shops and become richer than Bill Gates.
on the not so dull note,
Band came in first for inter cca! :D
all the PT must have helped man.
21 won for cheerleading! (yes i cant really believe it either.)
~~i think the judges are horny can.~~ :X

after sports day(finally!), sectional outing:]
walked to tanah merah station. apparently it's a very long distance from the stadium, according to half the world.
long is a relative word!!!
anyway,
went to Seoul Garden again. i think it's some tradition in the bassoon section to go there every sports day for SO. :D
haha, okay, next time i shall not eat breakfast. :)

later we played number bomb:DD
those kena had to eat this dessert thing. (it was nice lahh:])
later we went arcade.
played hyper bishi bashi!! cant remember when's the last time i went arcade. i think it was last year or so?
both the button and my arms were retarded. :|
driving, last minute kena pwned by xiaonan. haha, i think she goes to arcades often man. no wonder can play until so pro one. must have been practicing, haha.
watched her and sophia play air hockey, first round. damn funny:D later reixue took over sophia.
watching R and X play air hockey together is like O___O
they play until very scary okay, so fierce :O

i never knew.

met classmates along the way. they had been watching movies:)
cheryl wanted to buy a sectional -something-, at first it was a bag, then later bottle, then underwear(????), then finally, (dadadadummmm!!) a purse:]
went toysrus. haha, reminds me of childhood:]

i cant put everything down now, but i still can remember it:] i think this has been the best SO i've had so far. :DD

today:
ran extra PT cause of yesterday:] the court is about 80m in perimeter. .____.
maths makes me sleep!
i didnt get a damn thing mrs hoy was saying about graphs. (i was paying attention, okay.) in the end it was IO and total brain shut down.
i think my mind went on hibernation.____.
slept during chinese too.

maths olympiad.
i was hoping they'd go protest or something. .___.
had test today. i went about writing random crap esp in the answer boxes. they said to answer 10 Qs ONLY buy i think there's pen ink about everywhere in the paper.
examples of random crap i wrote:
Q1: figure a is made of matchsticks...
to help those people who had drawn those poorly drawn matchsticks,(which was just one line.) i added dots to their tips to make them look more matchsticky:D
Q6: options A, B, C, D, or E...
answer? option F!!!
Qsomething: hexagon ABCDEF blahblah. no diagramn given.
i drew my own hexagon and even labelled it:] then i wrote: i draw very nice hexagons:)

like lavelle says, the teacher is so going to "hunt me down".
thank goodness i have taken PRECAUTIONS. :D
----------------

2009-04-03T05:34:00.000-07:00

thanks for coming;
sorry
---
yizhen came back from Dubai:)
i hear the people there are damn rich:O

i was super unprepared for maths today. only started reading up in the morning, and the only thing i read was:
y=kx, where k is unequal to zero.
yeap, direct and indirect proportions. aka, graphs, which SUCKS.
btw, one thing i just learnt today was that when it comes to graphs, one equation you diedie should have to learn is:
y=mx+c
because it came out twice already and i still dont know a damn thing about it.
crap, 7 marks already, gone. superb man.
DnT, sat with sarah, afiqah, and fuzzy as usual.
oh yeah, before we go on,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FARZANA!!! you crazy retard:]
anyway, fiqah got (heavily) influenced by fuzzy and went high in her head:]
did 'BE' on the spot with sarah cause her paint was drying too slowly. hahaha, that girl sarah, super amusing lah. :]
during recess, they brought party poppers to class and this fake snow spray to celebrate fuzzy's bday and eunice's, which was 3 days late.

E: 3 days late still want to sing song, do tomorrow also can:)

hahaha. funny lah.
after school, cca, went home.
caused jie to be late for class D:
dad and mum got pissed cause the electricity got cut, and cause they were late for BS.
._____.
---
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:
do you see 10 :D, or 10 D:?

2009-04-02T03:57:00.000-07:00

with Honors;

for today's post i shall attempt to be as optimistic and short-and-sweet as possible.
firstly,

band SYF!!! tkgssb:
Gold with Honors!!:D
yayyyyyyy.

okay, secondly. school today.
maths?
blah.
MT?
i promised chuyi that i shall do a story one day where the bad guys WIN. >:]
PE?
i have a phobia of having my knee knocking into my eye. :\
geog?
bleaaah.
lit?
stupid fire drill!
science?
barely learnt anything:\

after school...
i think i have obsessive compulsive disorder :O
---
better stop while we're ahead;

2009-03-22T01:37:00.000-07:00

tag replies:

daphne:
AHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *faints* hahah

sarah:
haha, yeah, i did it for the sake of all you people:]

lavelle:
yes, NO MORE. yay:]

2009-03-20T05:52:00.000-07:00

No Body;
when people get overly high, dont get too excited:
they're just at the top of the rollercoaster's slope.
--
daphne's 'age' is 9 years old.
HAHAHAAHHA.
no wonder she makes such a good friend:]
seriously.

so suay, on wednesday i lost my nametag, and now my badge ran off too D:

banndd.
today was pretty good too:]
lets see.
750 am: runrunrun 5 rounds!!
758 am: toilettoilettoilet....
808am: 5+5=10!!!! (rounds)
815am: saw the cheerleading girls. honestly, i think they're more like dancing instead of cheerleading :\
cheryl and sophia werent coming for today, and xiaonan was coming later. so it was just me and cherlyn. just the two of us.
9-something am: xiaonan arrives. combine at void deck.
till-lunch-time am: combining at void deck. was completely lost at SBT 117. D: ms sia got angry cause we werent breathing properly and thus we had to run 1 round around the school. (about 400m) sorry ms sia! DD:
went off to sectionals(aka, go off to practice by myself) while seniors combined. practiced 117 of SBT.
somewhere-within-that-moment am: owwwww my neck. the bassoon has gotten fatter, apparentely. (can instruments exercise and go on diets?)
lunch-time am: off to video world:]
haha, the sec 4s were the most noisy ones. they're really amusing:]
1340 am: rained super heavily. we borrowed these umbrellas, but when we reached school we were still drenched. heh:]
slightly later: went up to get back bassoon. it was wet from the rain water that came in through the band office's window :O
later: my feet were soaking up all the rainwater in my shoes :
took out shoes to air awhile.
smelly...
even later: practice, practice, enjoyed both music coming from void deck and 1st floor piano area. so nice:)
neck ache from heavy obese bassoon.
not nice. :(

after band:
story writing!! :D
go to stjy.deviantart.com to read:]
helpful critique is encouraged:D
--
First star that I saw last night was the headlight of a manmade sky
but manmade never make our dreams alive;

2009-03-16T05:42:00.001-07:00

meh.
what's the use of trying, all you get is pain.
when i wanted sunshine, i got rain. -smashmouth

"if you dont know how to interact with guys, just imagine that they're gay."
HAHA Arra! :D

school holidays are just an excuse for teachers to get away from students. do they hate us so much??
band today. it was actually pretty good :D
so lets see.
set up instrument then brought stuff down with sophia to sectionals. it seemed like the whole school was here. stupid sciencation day.
went to do duty first. In the end no one came, till Arra and Ngee Ping told me that combine had been switched to the void deck(which later had been switched again to hall .___. )
alamak.
apparently i'm the only one in my section who actually fails chinese :\
alamakkkkk.

going to meet ps rachel tomorrow for some admin mini-training.
just now she called.
R: what are you doing now?
S: lying on my bed. i just came back from school.
R: why were you at school???
S: cca.
R: aiyou...
lol. like so shocked okay. see lah, it's because schools in singapore are kiasu. (i'm not talking about cca here. holiday lessons are enough.)

caugh spongebob today. was super happy watching it, haha. reminded me of my primary school times. watching all those super*ahem*gay*ahem* shows.
--
what am i? tell me what i am!
....you're... a mermaid.
...what?
a mermaid.
LOL.

2009-03-13T05:34:00.000-07:00

move along;

"taufik!"
"ta-oooofiick!!"
"what the fick, tau?"
heh.

today is friday the 13th.
not that i am at any point superficial about all these 'bad luck' stuff, but today's been pretty crappy.
heck, it was a piece of shit.
sorry for being vulgar, but i'm really pissed now. i know i dont have a right to be, but then again there are alot of things i dont have the right to do, and alot more things i have rights for, but am forbidden to do.
super ironical.
got back progress report and felt like jumping down the school building. i just want to run away to some nice ulu place and be a loner.
got B4 for maths and DnT(surprise, surprise).
english and geog screwed with C5. (i feel damn cheated)
D7 for chinese, which (bigger surprise,) i actually feel happy for, because i actually ALMOST passed by 2 marks.
ahem. that's an ALMOST.
overall had 64.9 percent.
i dont know about you guys, but looking at it by itself didnt seem too bad at first.
then i saw the cohort's.
bloody comparision ruined everything.
i wanted to go get a _____ and ________, but (fortunately) it got confiscated by my dear friend lavelle. (i owe you man.)

anyway.
i was still miffed when i went for band. went into moodswings cause then i felt really happy, then later when i was teaching rei xue i felt overly impaitient. (sorry reixue! i hope you didnt think i was angry at you or something.) if it werent for sophia i think i might have actually gotten angry. :\

went home. along the way told mum about my results. i had hoped that it would help me feel slightly better, but in the end i just ended up feeling guilty and dissapointed.
dad found out about my papers later(of course, he would have eventually.) and went into another one of his 'so what do you think went wrong' sermons. (to which i answered with the standard answers.)

since i dont know what to say, and speaking my mind would only get me into deeper shit, i might as well just answer what they want to hear.
--
maybe we've been living with all eyes half open.
yesterday is dead and over.
when everything is wrong, we move along.
i cant explain myself at all.
right where i belong, inside this sad, sad song.
i could write it better than you ever felt it.
will we always say we tried?
even the best fall down sometimes, even the wrong words seem to rhyme.
when it's killing me when will i really see all that i need to look inside.
which came first, the music or the misery?
i'm tired of being what you want me to be, feeling so faithless, lost under the surface.
well, i'll try to do it right this time around.
i'm left to sweat over a dying race.
dont write a word, cause i wont reply
you can take what you want from me.
unwanted like i've lost all my value.
the best of us can find happiness in misery.
pressing on, all my distress in going, going gone.
-all american rejects, the hush sound, fall out boy, linkin park, red hot chili peppers, daughtry, the academy is, lost prophets, relient k, switchfoot.

2009-03-10T22:18:00.000-07:00

SCREW E-LEARNING!!!!!!!!!!!!
ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2009-03-10T03:17:00.001-07:00

life's a roller coaster.
i took a ride and threw up.

blah, today.
only thing i was really happy about was that
1 morning was super cold.
2 i could actually run 10 rounds consistently during PT. (yay:])
3 i actually listened during MT. (thanks to chuyi esp for writing the stuff down! :D)
but other than that.

suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems.
-from lavelle's blog.

everyone has their own problems.
it's just that some speculate it more than others, till it seems so big.
they never last, they'll always die out sooner or later.
but it is our mindset that makes it seem forever.
today, i went to some blogs, read their posts.
there are lots of people going through the same things.
having similar thoughts, hurts, ect.
it seems like there's a pandemic flying around.
no one can see it, but it can be felt.
it can be understood, it can be healt.
but if untreated, it can eat people from their insides.
their innermost beings, the ones we cant physically see.
there are sick people out there who want to cure others like them.
but how can they really help them when they cant help themselves?
earlier today.
when she came over.
i dont know why.
but i hated her.
her and others who stole you.
stole, that's what the voices said.
they said, they're thieves, going around stealing your medicine.
i knew they were lies, ridiculous lies.
but i still heard and listened.
it was stupid of me to, and i shouldn't.
but they bugged on and on.
of course, all they said was untrue.
why would they want to 'steal' you just to ruin me?
they just needed someone like you.
i have been selfish, i have been paranoid.
melodramatic, eaten, wallowed.
drained of all that i thought i had believed in.
my faith has been confused.
there is so much i want to convince myself of, yet my brain questions.
what is black? what is white?

~~are there no grey in-betweens?~~

where's a doctor when you need one?

about earlier today.
after school.
sorry if you thought wrong.
well, maybe you thought right, but still.
sorry for replying that way.
sorry for ever bothering you.
sorry for having ever told you my problems.
sorry for burdening you.
sorry you ruining your life with my ruined one.
sorry.

2009-03-06T05:57:00.000-08:00

6KENAs;

School.

kena booked for fingernails. :\
my teeth arent built for cutting anyway.

Legacy was weird.
had to walk down a row of people and try not to laugh.
i thought about abortion. (it worked.)

DnT.
i am way behind time for DnT work. :\

Recess.
sat with claudia, farah Y, peishan etc.
mrs sew joined:]
talked about random stuff.
she knows my section seniors. o__o
she's so nice man. :]

Science.
my hand almost kena corrode.
it got tingly after washing the chemicals.
irritation. :\

After school.
Band.
ms sia came early. o__o
clarinets took our warmup books :O
yes i do agree to the idea of putting them into a box labeled "BASSOON".
nice and big, cant miss it. :D
if they did, well, i have nothing to say. :X
oh yeahh! -random thought moment(RTM)-
"I have no words, —
My voice is in my sword: thou bloodier villain
Than terms can give thee out!"
- from Macbeth :]
anyway.
was left with sophia to teach junior.
______________________.
xiaonan came over to tell us to get a stand for her.
ran over to band room.
no stand. :\
apparently someone ate it.
went to combine with sec 1s and 2s.
mainly did breathing exercises.
then senior told us to run round classroom block 5 rounds.
-RTM-
i'm going to measure the basketball court one day!
-back-
junior kena run 10 rounds because she was laughing with some clarinet junior during BE.
must be serious next time okay!
if not kena worse things.
did tuning and holding of notes.
after juniors left kena scolded.
also because ____________.
-no comments.-
~~that part wasnt even our fault. D:~~
after that packed instrument.
met at piano area.
kena scolded again.
-no comments.-
later walked down with daphne and met abby.
didnt string es. ended a long time ago? o___o
anyway.
A:-when she saw me- why so black face???
heh. i didnt even realise.

wikipedia's so fun :D
i went and clicked on the random article link and the first thing that popped out was:

WGAY-LP

apparentely it's some tv channel (aka Proud Television)that caters to all people L, G, B and T.
(btw, those are terms for curlywurly people.)

to think there's such a channel... o___o
-----------------------------------
what's done cannot be undone.
Foul whisperings are abroad: unnatural deeds
Do breed unnatural troubles: infected minds
To their deaf pillows will discharge their secrets.

2009-03-04T05:03:00.000-08:00

DDD:
(today was mainly.)

i'm going to keep today's short.
school sucked, cca was okay, home isnt worth mentioning.
i stabbed the table with the penknife.
at least that was abit of an improvement.
compared to _________.
yes it was.

2009-03-03T05:43:00.000-08:00

Phobia, phobia.

Aerophobia- Fear of drafts, air swallowing, or airbourne noxious substances.
Aeroacrophobia- Fear of open high places.
Anginophobia- Fear of angina, choking or narrowness.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Automatonophobia- Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues - anything that falsly represents a sentient being.
Agoraphobia- Fear of open spaces or of being in crowded, public places like markets. Fear of leaving a safe place
Claustrophobia- fear of being in confined places, or crowded places.
Coulrophobia- fear of clowns.
Decidophobia — fear of making decisions.
Ligyrophobia — fear of loud noises.
Phobophobia — fear of having a phobia.
Phonophobia — fear of loud sounds.
Scopophobia — fear of being looked at or stared at.
Taphophobia— fear of the grave, or fear of being placed in a grave while still alive.
total count: 13.
wow.

hahaha.

2009-03-03T05:11:00.000-08:00

rg9u1390 5uuty0q3 ut90aerjaer-0ghkatlwgh-0R0R TQy]jy9er0ajha0gjkae][gWEYKOPERHIODFGHADFGBAGBAGAIGIUAGBAFBFAFBASBGAIOAEBGGVJGNASDJGHAOH ADRHGI;AERN TTYO20W49TY9QERT890QYER0T8QW90TW9ERH Q G89WH F89PAWH G89WAHG89AHG89AHG89PAWHG 89PAWH G89AHG A89SEGH98AHG 89AHG 89ASDFHG I9ADGH AE89GAEHG AE89RHGAE89PHGAIOHA9PSD8GHA9PGHA89PGHA9PGH89APGHAW9EH 89HG89AWEHG AW9PG8HA989PAEHG8EHG8EH8GPEHOHAEFHADFHADFHADF.

GAHHHHHHHHH.

2009-03-03T02:21:00.001-08:00

):)
(by the way, it's indecision on whether to put :) or :( )

yesterday :(
(apart from sarah's birthday, which is a :D)
~~chinese~~ ~~english~~ maths:
Mrs Hoy made me cry D:
dont ask me why.
no, it wasnt all her fault.
she merely popped the balloon, that's all.
the balloon was going to burst anyway.

lavelle, i should apologise to you. really.
cause i didnt listen.
it's not like i want to ______, it's just that i went to relieve myself of ________.
it's the wrong way to do it, but i wasnt in the right state of mind. :X

after maths was recess.
went for NEF. could have just skipped that day, my face was still in a mess, but heck.
they were teaching on some 'japanese sword fighting thing'???
pretty retarded, heh. (not the japanese sword fighting part. it was the way we did it.)
by the time NEF was over i was literally starving. morning breakfast is out of the question, and maths was more draining than usual.
the NEF people are really smart okay. make us work out and and starve at the same time.
very smart.
later after school end up over eating.
not smart.

art, blah. literatureee...
our lit teacher is okay, i guess.
do all lit teachers like puns and make lame jokes?
i wonder.

geog was free period.
as usual there was a party going on at daphne's.
haha, my place is just next to a hot spot baby.
erm, no.
it's not always a good thing.

at home -_-
went online. lavelle showed me these pictures.
very red in color. more red than chinese new year.
heck, it was a traditional chinese new year.
with fireworks and red ornaments.
and i only saw the first picture.
it was bad enough.
--

today.
how come whenever a day starts okay it ends like shit?

math, 2nd period.
i totally behaved myself today.
i cant believe it either.
not talking to sasha during maths was...
...weird.
i'm pretty sure Mrs Hoy thought that today's 'me' that she saw wasnt the same 'me' as yesterday.
must be my split persona, Schizo. :\

blah.
went home later.

(reads some stuff.)
i think lots of people are forgetting about me.

dad seems to have moodswings.
either that or he has split personality too.
great, he has SPD, i have Schizophrenia.
multiple personality disorder man.
during dinner he was :)
then later he was all D:<
just now he just went :D
and now he's >:O
it's not funny, okay.
it's bloody ______.

one of these days i'm going to crack.
if i dont have the right inanimate objects about me, someone's going to get hurt.
last time, an alarm clock got broken.
hopefully next time it's not going to be someone's head.

2009-02-26T04:31:00.000-08:00

chinese operas are strict clowns.

i'm stuck here doing research on bloody chinese operas.
and they are bloody scary.
they look just like bloody clowns only with abit more discipline.
and i'm saying the word bloody over and over again because whenever i think of clowns i think of scary psycho maniacs who go around making a bloody mess of everyone.
and when i see those really elaborate ones i feel kind of... itchy.
you know, the kind of itchy like when you see a huge mess in your room, with your staff thrown everywhere.
the obsessive-compulsive kind of itchy.
my arms are full of scratch marks and my head has been scratched till hair fell out :X
see? chinese operas are bad D:
---

tagbacks:]
nicole: haha, you're the only person i know who will do a 'mini spam' :D if there's such a thing.
farahY: thanks:]

2009-02-24T01:41:00.001-08:00

gay means happy:]

finally changed my blogskin.
took me forever. -_-

today was pretty fun, although it started out draggy.
made gay jokes about my and afiqah's shakespeare roleplay characters(Ross and Siward, respectively.) it all started when i was writing the roleplaying worksheet.
Q on worksheet:
what will your character be doing while he/she is talking?
my A:
Ross will be facing Siward.
apparentely dear sasha skimped through it and thought i wrote that ross was f-ing siward.
wth?? they're not gay, man. shakespeare may be, but the characters arent.
gosh. last year for lit i had to play some horny guy. this year my character is turning gay.
to make matters more complicated i have to kneel before afiqah while i'm saying my lines.
which makes it look somewhat wrong :\
okay.. i shall look down while i say them.
(no offences to gay people out there:])

i think we're doing quite well on the lit scene. denise(macbeth) and daphne(macduff) were awesome at the fighting scene:] it was super funny too:D

2009-02-23T00:50:00.000-08:00

up for Abortion;

"mum, what happens to babies who get aborted?"
"they get torn into pieces."

i could almost hear them screaming in pain.
the more i thought of it, the more i wanted to cry.

yesterday i saw on the news about this 11 year old kid who shot his dad's pregnant girlfriend at the back of the head. (a perfect point blank. a strike of, let's say, a knife, at the area just above the neck at the back of your head gives you instant death.)
killers are getting younger each day, seriously.
the kid got charged for murder of the girlfriend(now dead) and her unborn kid.
if he can get charged for murder of the baby, then shouldnt people who abort their already given-birth-to kids be charged for murder too?
it only makes sense, doesnt it?
-----------------------------------------------

2009-02-18T05:10:00.000-08:00

HARHARHAR.

it's funny.
how i can say it is when i'm not even laughing.
in fact, i'm far from it.
it's funny.
how when some people try to help you
they end up making you hate them and tell them to piss off.
it's funny how you'll tell them
"stop trying to ass with me."
(i'm still not laughing.)
it's funny.
even though you know deep inside,
that the person's right and you're in the wrong,
you still cant help but think
"i just wish she'll just go away. leave me alone. doesnt she have anything better to do?"
isnt it so funny?
i'm still getting further from even breaking into a smile.
much less,
laughter.
such a funny thing.
------------------------------

tuned on my headphones and plugged into to com.
i love the way music totally lifts your mood.
some people complain that i spend too much time with those things stuck into my ears.
mostly because they dont know how much it helps me.
it's my legal drug, baby. :]

2009-02-10T01:32:00.000-08:00

ABC
order yeah

CHERYL.
heyy cheryl. i dont really know exactly what
you're going through now and cant understand it,
but like what you said,
"everything will be OKAY."
so i just want to tell you not to give up hope on her, alright?
even if she might not recognise you or your dad,
after that accident,
continue to love her yeah?
even though there are times she may not have seemed reasonable,
but she'll still your mum.
okay?
and thanks for caring for me too,
assuring me that i can tell you guys whatever,
all my problems and stuff.
especially being all crazy and making me smile. :]

DAPHNE.
hey girl.
thanks for being there and listening to me rant
on stuff like being stressed and all those emo things i said.
thanks for making me smile with your
contagious laughter and sweet personality.
thanks for praying for me
and always telling me stuff like,
"relacc" or "smile, okay?"
and assuring me that there are people out there who actually care for me.
people who really love me.
like God, and you guys.
and for reminding me that truth,
so that the lies in my head would be shut up.
so once again,
thankyou :D

LAVELLE.
heyy :)
after all this time i finally realised that i'm not the only person
that there're a bunch of others like me too.
thanks for your concern, and especially relating to me.
cause you understand and know what kind of emotions i'm going through.
thanks for all your crapping where you've made me laugh
and all those stuff you told me
like,
"dont do THAT again!" (heh.)
all because you dont want me to go around doing stupid things
that will only hurt myself more.
thanks for being so understanding :D

2009-02-10T00:57:00.000-08:00

blanks
has the noise from the lies in your head made you deaf to the truth?
--------------------------------

this morning.

first thing i walked into class i had a feeling school was going to be rather crappy today.
firstly,
daphne didnt come to school D:
apparently she had food poisoning or something.
get well soon and come to school tomorrow kay!!!
secondly,
the whole class's mood had definitely went down that day.
must have been from reason 1.
see lah daphne? you dont come for one day and it feels like the class is going to go into the pits.

school must have really dragged on today.

sometime after english lavelle came over to sasha's and my area to chat.
they got pretty shocked at a point of time.
heh.
---
funny how the negative voices always sound louder than the positive ones.

2009-02-06T04:53:00.000-08:00

oh, tragedy.
i heard Shakespeare had his spheres shaken.
----------------------------------------

there was a Dnt test today and i didnt fricking know about it until 7.46am this morning.
in the end it was quite alright.
farzana, afiqah and i were joking among ourselves at the dnt workshop today about really sick stuff.
me: ehh! tom's dick is harry!
afiqah: harry is tom's dick!
farzana: harry's dick is tom!
WTH LOLLLLL.

cmps was the first subject of the day(what a great way to start a friday.)
i felt kind of guilty for now doing my job as a secretary, but somehow i also feel like it's being taken from me. :\
what to do?

during science:
mrs foo:*starts to pick people to do the questions on the board.*
daphne: ehh how come no one picks me?? D:
me: cause you're too enthu already.
daphne: okay lah, then i'll act emo.
*daphne puts on emo face.*

hahahha daphne's so cute lah. especially when she tries to look all emo and that.

sasha was going on about people she was scared of in class.
sasha: i'm scared of farah aishah and eleanor and jianan,...
me: right..
sasha: ..and cheryl and you and sarah...
me: wth.
sasha: ...and daphne..
me: WHATTTT.
sasha: yeah!!! when she goes all emo like that, it's really scary.
me:*turns behind to see a pretty emo-looking daphne.*
me: no she doesnt.
sasha: yes she DOES.
me: NO.
daphne: hm?

NO, sasha, she doesnt. :D

hahaaha my class has wild imaginations heh.
----------------------------------------
there are people in our class
people with many problems.
people who are fed up with themselves.
there are people in our class.

people with caring hearts and listening ears.

people who will somehow make you smile.
there are people in our class.
people with so much differences.
yet it's what had kept us together in the first place.

2009-02-05T00:09:00.000-08:00

shoot me.
why dont you?

-------------------------------

today was a sucky day.
it started out sucky.
and currently it still sucks.
i have i feeling it will suck later on too.

was really moody in the morning, partially from last night and from how tired i was.
mostly because of ...
later i almost crushed my fingers from gripping on them to much.
and then i got really low.
i went and bought myself something, then headed for the bathroom.
...
then i went out and took some stuff.
and then ...

the only time that i was slightly happier was during science class till school ended.
sasha was amusing me with her 'magical' origami which she refused to share the joy of it with mrs foo.
then watched some chinese opera thing during assembly, which was pretty funny. (of course not the opera! it was so urk. the funny part was when we started making fun of them. hehheh.)

went back to class and lavelle, sasha, and farzana were talking about American Idol auditions. super funny kay.
especially the part where ahemlavelleahem confused fuzzy's tonsil for a utera. (wth. xD)

went back home where things dropped down again.
jie scolded me for making mum pick her up late.
bloody.
just discovered that i left my tution hw in school.
bloody hell.
mum scolded me for being on the computer again.
bloody sacre bleu.

i want to get out of here.

2009-02-04T04:49:00.000-08:00

meaningless;
that all of it was just chasing the wind.
-------------------------
i've been reading the book of Ecclesiastes.
it's quite pessimistic sounding actually, but it's really true.

maybe it's because i want to be included.
maybe because i'm jealous.
maybe it's because i'm tired of feeling depressed.
maybe they just dont care.

i've been having all these moodshifts lately. it's like one moment i'll be happy then the next moment i get all pessimistic and emo.
there's all these voices in my head, bad voices, and i shouldnt be listening to them.
but in the end i usally agree in my heart with them, no matter how incredible they are.
giving little suggestions like how my 'friends' are getting replacements.
or statements like "they dont understand."
all negative, it's all unhealthy.
but it's just like how people still drink beer and get drunk even though they know it's bad for them.
why do people always do what is bad for themselves even if they know it's harmful?
why is the unhealthy habits the ones that are the hardest to kick?
why dont we ever get used to the fact that the world is just a sad unfair place to be?
and life had always sucked,
but why cant i ever get used to that fact?

sometimes i wonder why i was even born.
------------------------
Fumbling his confidence And wondering why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he’s bent for more than arguments And failed attempts to fly, fly We were meant to live for so much more Have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live inside Dreaming about Providence And whether mice or men have second tries Maybe we’ve been livin with our eyes half open Maybe we’re bent and broken, broken We want more than the wars of our fathers
And everything inside screams for second life...

2009-02-02T01:48:00.000-08:00

SPIRALING;

The first was history,
which i've become.
second came science,
now that's a crappy one.
geog results i then got back,
dipped in noughts and crosses red.
this paper, i'd never thought
i'd screwed it hard until it bled.
----------------------------------

that pretty much summed up todays' school day.
i cant believe i actually failed geog!
sure, it's only 10%, and it's only 10 marks.
but still.
I FAILED GEOG.
all because the marker was so damn strict.
technically the answers were right, damnit.
was the question even clear enough to show what kind of answers they wanted?
i'm feeling damn pissed now.
and there's a geog AND maths test tomorrow.
i just want to forget about even trying and just fail the damn thing like i failed that paper.

my school's CAs come rather early
compared to other schools.
little time they gave to study,
on day one i lost my cool.

two today i did badly,
tomorrow there's two more.
maybe i'll do slightly better,
or maybe screw them sore.

PMS-ing's not helping.
what a time for mens to come!
i'm getting tired and aches all over,
this day's a bloody one.

i cant believe i just said all that.
i think that's kind of crude.
oh well, now i'll just relax
and do well i hope i would.

2009-01-29T05:42:00.000-08:00

Procrastinators:
leaders of tomorrow.
-------------------------------

haha, got that from a shirt i saw on Treadless.
http://www.threadless.com/
they've got superfrigginawesome shirts yes they do. :D
someday i'm going to get Joan aka The Queen Of Online Shopping to shop for me online there.
hehehhheh.

2009-01-23T21:25:00.000-08:00

regened;
------------------------------------------
I served out my detention,
and in the end I got an honorable mention.

In the movie of my life, starring you,
instead of me.
When the moonlight, hits your bright eyes, I go blind.
And maybe next time,
I'll remember not to tell you
something stupid like I'll never leave your side.
Like the oldest movie I ever saw was the one we wrote together.
I said I hate you but I'd never change a thing.
I can be your John Cusack.

I burnt out my defensive.
Now everything I say is taken as offensive.

In the movie of my life, starring you,
instead of me.
When the moonlight, hits your bright eyes, I go blind.
And maybe next time,
I'll remember not to tell you
something stupid like I'll never leave your side.
Like the oldest movie I ever saw was the one we wrote together.
I said I hate you but I'd never change a thing.
I can be your John Cusack.

Oldest movie I ever saw was the one we wrote together.
Said I hate you but I'd never change a thing.

I can be your John Cusack... be your John Cusack.
I can be your John Cusack.
- honarable mention, Fall out Boy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

2009-01-19T01:14:00.000-08:00

It;

monday's really gloomy,
tuesday melancholy.
wednesday's a relativity,
on thursday you're pretty happy
cause friday's just coming nearly.
saturday is rather free
and sunday's saved for you and me :]
----------------------------------

this morning started with MT as first period.
can you say, "i hate mondays?"

me: ugghhh... *sneezes* argh, damn it!
chuyi: dont damn It, It is Kindness! :D

LOL
we were joking about it the whole morning. or rather, It. ;)
-----------------------------------

2009-01-16T04:49:00.000-08:00

Rubic;
tell me how to fix this puzzle.
-------------------------------------------------

we should film farzana's many antics and spasms and put it into a major motion film. (auto-replayed! haha) i bet i'd end up laughing till i'd almost die from lack of oxygen.
fuzzy is damn hilarious :D

bannddddd :)
the good news:
nicky got upgraded.
the bad news:
he got upgraded to cherlyn's instrument.
sorry cherlyn!!! :(

i hear the sec 1s this year are really sneaky or something. angels in front of the teachers, devils behind them.
from what i heard, there's two mediacorp 'actresses' (or so they claim to be) juniors too.
apparately one of them had the nuts to tell a prefect "i'm an actress, bitch."
WTH?
so rude can??
i hope she's not going to be my junior. maybe she'd go into drama.
i hope cheryl and riny can do something about her. >:)
-----------------------------------------------
"i'm an actress, biatch."
"sure you are. you're and actress, a bitchy one too."

2009-01-15T04:40:00.000-08:00

Vex;
the ventilation of heat waves.
------------------------------------------------

sometimes i wish that my instruments could come alive.
they'd become my very personal friends.
i would talk to them about my day, and they would tell me how theirs was.
when i feel happy or sad, we would sing whatever songs we wanted depending on the mood.
when i feel angry, i will vent my anger on them by playing songs that would help me release my anger.
and they would not receive the frustration because they will never be angry at me.
they will be understanding, and always ready to lend a ear.
together we would make music, the most sincere music we could ever hear in the whole wide world.
because the music would be inspired, on-the-spot created beauty.
to us, the songs we sing would be the most melodic thing in the universe, even better than what the 'pros' may come up with.
and definitely better than what some people may try to copy.
and we wont even have to discuss about what we would play, because the telepathic bond between us would already know that whatever one of us plays, the other will join in, on the dot.
we would be closer than brothers, than father and son. we'd be practically soul mates,
bond by emotional melodies and soulful symphonies.
-----------------------------------
There's a fracture in a corner bar In the back seat of a parked car By the liquor store where the streetlights Keep you company till the next night In the same town there's the same scar In the same glow of the liquor store By the freeway where the headlights Keep you company till the next night -- Oh! Gravity

2009-01-14T05:35:00.000-08:00

shuffle;

my boredom caused me to steal this quiz from riny's blog.
----- ----- -----
How to Play?
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. No cheating!

How are you feeling today?
drink up me hearties -potc ost (hahahha, drunkard!!!!)
Will you get far in life?
rockstar -nickelback (hell yeah.)
How do your friends see you?
more than useless -relient k (that's nice to know :D)
Will you get married?
do ya -jump 5
What is your best friend's theme song?
deathbed -relient k (emo seh. ._.)
What is the story of your life?
love is free -sheryl crow (haha, aw.)
What was high school like?
teenagers -my chemical romance (haha, suitable...)
How can you get ahead in life?
big girl -mika
What's the best thing about your friends?
dancing queen -abba gold (LOL. i never knew...)
What's in store for this weekend?
i'm getting nuttin for christmas -relient k (haha, what's that supposed to mean???)
Describe your grandparents.
pressure -jump 5 (no lah, they're NICE people :3)
How's your life going?
the pirates who dont do anything -relient k (haha, well, i dont think i'm going anywhere into piracy, and i sure hope i'm not lazy :] )
What song will they play at your funeral?
maintain consciousness -relient k (haha, if i can!)
How does the world see you?
more than words -extreme (awww.)
Will you have a happy life?
over you -daughtry (whattt.)
Do people secretly lust after you?
when i'm gone -click five
How can you make yourself happy?
enough -jeremy camp (haha, i'm so contented man:D)
What should you do with your life?
angels we have heard on high -relient k
What does your mum think of you?
devastation and reform -relient k (no, hopefully not. haha)
What is your deep, dark secret?
the truth -relient k (which is...??)
What is your mortal enemy's theme song?
stop and stare -one republic (LOLLL.)
What's your personality like?
move along -all american rejects (haha, now what is that supposed to mean? ;) )
What song will be played at your wedding?
this man -jeremy camp (hhaha, awwwww.)
-----------------------------

i got amused. yay.

2009-01-14T05:04:00.000-08:00

Aerosol;
true or false, should they be stored in warm places?
--------------------------------

went high in the morning with riny talking about horny stuff.
firstly it got off (as usual) when we started talking about mrs foo and her pregnancy, and who's idea it was in the first place.

riny: ugh, i hate mrs foo and her moodswings! i wish she wasnt pregnant!
me: you mean you hate her husband, cause he's the one who effed her in the first place.
riny: yeah! why didnt he use a condom??
me: maybe cause she nagged him to give her babies.
riny: yeah, maybe she went and said,"give me babies now or i'll book you!"

LOL riny, mrs foo and her booking slips!
it pretty much got on from there.

science class didnt help at all.
especially with that animated picture of the metal cylinder inserting itself into a ring.

riny: sam! look at this.
me: what's that? oh...
riny: it looks damn wrong.
me: uhhuh.
*stares at animation. expanded cylinder keeps on poking at ring, unsucessfully trying to go through.*
riny: *clicks button that says"click to cool cylinder"*
*contracted cylinder now goes through the ring. sucess!!!*
me: ehh. want to ask mrs foo if the picture means anything to her?

of course it does, after all she had the experience. >:) (the experience part was from riny!)

oh my, we have such wild imaginations.
----- ----- -----

did marching during band while playing Sousa.
i have a feeling ms sia made a bet with the tkss band condctor saying that she could turn us back into a military band in no time. (yes tkgssb used to be military.)
how was i supposed to march with the bassoon???
doing all the swings and turning, standing next to the trombonists was pretty dangerous.
after all, both had an equal chance of knocking someone over unintentionally.
see people, that is why tkssmb doesnt have bassonists.
as far as i think so, anyway.
----- ----- -----
Fumbling his confidence, And wondering why the world has passed him by. Hoping that he’s bent for more than arguments, And failed attempts to fly. We were meant to live for so much more, Have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live inside, Somewhere we live inside. We were meant to live for so much more, Have we lost ourselves? Somewhere we live inside. - meant to live, switchfoot

2009-01-12T01:52:00.000-08:00

ManipulativeAdvantage-takingNature
MAN.
BECAUSE IT'S TRUE.
----------------------------------------------
Sunday:
they're going to tear down that land area.
the one at punggol, by the jetty, with all the lalangs and furry-looking trees.
the one that's really beautiful.
the one where there's a really great spot with soft sea breezes and a great naturic scene.
the one where we used to shoot nice photos at.
the one where i would wish to run away to to be with myself and spend some quiet time there.
and now it's taken away.
it's destroyed.
by MAN.
when i went there the first thing i saw was this mess, this huge ugly mess, made up of all these pale yellow papers and smoke sticks and garbage.
messing up this whole place.
this place that was so beautiful.
and as i went deeper, to my horror i saw all these bulldozer machines digging up all the earth, with no mercy whatsoever, killing every tree and destroying every animal's home.
and as i watched, i felt myself gaining energy.
heat energy.
that kind of energy that comes whenever you feel so strongly for something and it's being taken from you or destroyed right before your very eyes.
that kind of energy that comes and makes you feel a strong sense of hatred, that makes you want to go up to them and scream "what the HELL is wrong with you people????"
so i went and screamed.
i screamed,"you SUCK!!! you hear that????"
of course they didnt, they were too busy destroying what i wanted to keep so much.
along the way as i walked back i saw all the rubbish people have left behind.
all the food, plastic, whatever you name it, everything.
ever since they started this stupid warehouse building project people have been turning up in all their vehicles, disturbing the peace and serenity of that area.
it only poured fuel into my fire. i wanted so much to grab all that rubbish and go over to those criminals who dared litter that place, and pour their shit all over them.
after all, they asked for it.
it's only their fault if i had done that to them.
--------------------------------------------------

yesterday went shopping for these two kiddies gifts. apparately the gift list was for some Ben10 toy and a Barbie baby toy.
since when had Barbie given birth???
personally i've never seen a pregnant Barbie. have you?
since when was she maried to Ken anyway?
unless....
of course!
Barbie must have gone to some party at a pub or something.
you know how these things always happen at pub parties.
then....
it must be the Kelly isnt Barbie's little sister after all!
no wonder the age gap's huge.
Kelly must be Barbie's own daughter!
but why would they try to hide that fact?
it must be from what happened after that pub party...
Barbie must have drunk too much or something.
see?? i always knew Barbie was a bad influence.
tsktsk.
--------------------------------------------------
It's all a game of this or that. Now this is there, That out of all the girls worse for wear. And you’re someone, Who knows someone who knows someone, I once knew, And I just want to be a part of this. The road outside my house, Is paved with good intentions. Hire a construction crew, 'Cause it's hell on the engine. You are the dreamer, And we are the dream. I could write it better than you ever felt it. -Hum Hallelujah, Fall Out Boy

2009-01-05T02:13:00.000-08:00

party criminals;

the sympathy symphony band proudly presents a presentation entitled Pity Party.
-------------------------------------

first day of school was okay... all the teachers werent to bad, but then again it IS the first day of actual school.
the rules on the attire is really getting strict. obviously mrs. foo isnt going to hesitate booking us for that or any 'crimes' we may commit. she and her pre-pregnancy syndrome...
mdm seah was rather nice today, despite how she was during art periods last year. very odd, could she have been abducted by aliens or something? either way, if she's going to be that nice throughout the year, i'm not complaining.
as usual the teachers begin the year with a small motivational speech. my favourite one was from our new Lit teacher. "I will survive!" haha.
we have lots of new teachers this year. i dont know if that's a good thing or not.
-------------------------------------

after talking with fiqah today i decided to make a trip downstairs and give a shot on the recorder. it's been a really long time since i've played that thing, but it's still sounds okay. it's a really simple instrument, probably the most basic woodwind, but then again it was a part of my musical lifeline. thnking of it reminds me of my bassoon, the older, bigger, more 'macho' version of my scrawny little recorder. like Nicky's the big masculine uncle and Ren is the little baby. haha. yes, i named them.

no matter how basic or simple an instrument, it's still a start.
-------------------------------------

they told me "go piss off, sam!" and i stood there, pointed and laughed.

2008-12-22T05:57:00.000-08:00

band on friday was pretty good. during sectionals did the usual, inclusive of all those horny lesbian jokes seniors always cracked about.
that was the first time i ever heard of a curly-wirly club. hehheh
what do they do, i wonder? it sounds interesting...

sec 4 farewell was fun:D
the bbq, i mean. not the part where the sec 4s were leaving.

i never knew charcoal could be pevertic. i'm pretty sure xiaonan would agree;)

robyn and her sausages... i wonder. yes i really do. what is it with sausages?
sausage, long, meaty and slick,
just like some fat guy's hairless-
...
i shall not pursue the subject further.
------------------------------------

2008-12-01T21:49:00.000-08:00

yesterday band:

overture 1 and 2!
1 was okay, at least there were certain 'sight-readable' phrases for me, but 2 was totally taunting me of my really low ability of sight-reading.
during overture 2 when ms sia used the metronome with the quaver counts i got super confused. all the beats were getting mixed up in my head, so i really couldnt keep count. sorry, but i have a thing with metronomes using that kind of beat. if the beat goes "1,2,3,4..." i can keep track because it's pretty clean, but give me some weird beat like "1and2and3and4..." or "1e&a2e&a3e&a4e&a..." i'll go "okay.... *countcountcount*... wait, what?..."
very confusing.

anyway, band was quite fun as usual, if it werent for the aching shoulders and confusion.
oh yeah, and this.
(during sectionals)
Cherlyn: hey samantha, you're quitting band right?
how did she know???? O_O
i really didnt know what to say okay.
later we moved out from the section area cause Mr. Sun was too proud of his brightness that day.
during sectionals that day, we were pretty much talking most of the time(heehee), when ms sia came and caught us. scaryyyy man. i thought she was going to scold us. haha.
fortunately, she didnt, and called for combine.
unfortunately, that was when i met Ms.Overture No.2 for the first time. D:

when i got back home i found out that the back of my lower lip was bleeding.
-----------------------------------------
christmas is round the corner, so bring on the rock christmas songs too:)

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i'm getting nuttin for christmas - relient k

this song is so cute! :D
"i'm getting nothing for christmas because i contributed to the green house effect which melted polar icecaps at the north pole where Santa lives so he's mad." LOL

2008-11-29T04:56:00.000-08:00

when we're born we first respire, and as we grow we aspire, and eventually, we expire.
-------------------------------

blame my lazy butt for it but i'm not going to bother to blog about beijing now or any time later unless i do feel like it. >:]

-------------------------------
for every action, there is a equal and opposite reaction. (newton's 3rd.)

2008-11-16T06:43:00.000-08:00

yo couch potatoes.(in Singapore, i might mention.)
blogging from airport here. the free internet acess rocks socks.
yeah. going ot be MIA-ing soon, off to Beijing.
i am SO excitied. whoopee. hear the temperature there's really cold. brr. oh great.
i really hope i dont get a winter rash or something. korea's definately going to be better than china(with skiing and KIMCHI~!!!:D), but i guess i'd better make a best out of this anyway.

well... nothing much now. i'm getting my mocha real soon.(YAY coffee:D:D) i'm going to see Joan and family for a whole week now, not to mention the Myanmar ttrip later this december, hopefully wont get sick of seeing her. haha jk.

i think i'm starting to miss Singapore, even though i'm still here! Singapore is seriously alot safer and warmer than China now, thank God for that.(not to mention cleaner too. heh.)

going to boost up my caffine. see you guys soon, hopefully.
(no offence to all China-lovers and Chinese. China's a really cool place. really.)
----------------------------------------------------------

2008-11-13T02:54:00.001-08:00

cheezeh~!

i should be going off now but i just want to drop by to share with you all my current temporal happiness:

I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED A LEVEL OF MINESWEEPER!!!! :D:D:D

okay that's all. haha:D

2008-11-12T05:13:00.000-08:00

matter of time;

today started out crappy , then it got slightly better, only to get crappi-ER later.
------------------------

it's only a matter of time,
till everything inside,
takes control
and blows.
boom.

2008-11-09T23:17:00.000-08:00

fustrate;

dreamweaver can #^&*!$% go die.
_____ dreamweaver.

2008-11-02T01:54:00.000-07:00

past tense;

Sing a song of sixpence,
a pocket full of rye.
Four and twenty blackbirds,
baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened,
the birds began to sing.
Wasn't that a dainty dish
to set before the king?
The king was in his counting house,
counting out his money.
The queen was in the parlour,
eating bread and honey.
The maid was in the garden,
hanging out the clothes,
When down came a blackbird
and pecked off her nose!
There was such a commotion
that little Jenny wren
Flew down into the garden
and put it back again

Baa, baa, black sheep,
Have you any wool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for the master,
One for the dame,
And one for the little boy
Who lives down the lane.
----------------------------------------

remember all those little nursery rhymes we'd sing at kindergarden?
ever wondered if there was some meaning behind them?

2008-10-28T06:21:00.000-07:00

genesis, evodus, leviticus;

heyy world! (in case you MAY have noticed) yeah, decided to start giving my posts titles. i dont know why. ah well. but dont expect them to have anything to do with my post.

anyway, the holidays are getting so boring! argh.... i miss it when there was still school. i miss 1e1 and their awesome craziness and colorful-ness and pretty much everything about them! aw man...

come to think about it, the school year for this year has been pretty much taken a huge change, from the begining where we're all new blur freshmans to now where we all know each other fairly well, and before we know it we're getting into sophomore year.
"time doesnt fly, it teleports"
so true.

right now i'm stuck trying to figure out this ~~stupid~~ dreamweaver which i have to do in prep for this ~~stupid~~ CmPS project thing which we'll be doing next year. oh man...
"tkgs never sleeps till you're out."
unfortunately.

"come to think of it, alot of times we forget about the little blessings that we get everyday from God."
had a pretty meaningful chat with nicole during followup today.
i shall try to be more grateful. :D
-------------------------------------------

the trees are silent, yet they have much to tell and teach.
the mountains are still, yet they have many a wise speech.
the hills are quiet, yet they have endless songs of life.
and yet, we who can pour forth words from our mouths,
can only come up with such emptyness, death and strife.

such bitter irony.

2008-10-24T07:00:00.000-07:00

goshhh. i havent been blogging for ages.

20th oct: cookie making at afiqah's!
haha. super fun okay:D got my fingers covered in chocolate at one point, it was super delicious:]
"Y??? tell me Y?!?!???"
LOL. inside joke;)

22th oct: CB planning at peishan's with CC.
haha. peishan's doggie is so cute! so well trained and friendly somemore. heh, needless to say, alot of gases were released, if you get what i mean.
"if it doesnt come out from the back, it's out from the front."
O__O

23th oct: checking out ECP.
the 'tryout' building of Mrs Foo and Mrs Wong's castles was... weird. haha. quite disturbing, in a way. heh.

24th oct: ClassBonding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (finally!)
total sucess, overall.
came at ECP at 10 in the morning to meet daph. weather was looking very contridicting, and went on till around the noon when everyone arrived. by then the weather was way better.
thanks, God! :D
from 10 to 11 am or so, we(daph and yours truly) pretty much just hung out around a shelter area at the park, chatting and stuff like that. then went back to the shops(coffee bean~!!) and I HAD COFFEE. so nice right????? :D:D:D:D:D:D
heh. along that time daph asked me,
"why you still so happy like that?" (i was whistling and walking about in circles and going hyper with myself:D)
i wanted to tell her "why not? shouldnt you be?" but in the end i just told her i had too much energy that morning. she looked rather tired. :\
saw hazel mong this bunch of Adersons primary students.
collected rainwater with my buckets:D
later!
chuyi and farah L were the first to arrive later. met at COFFEE BEAN:D:D:D:D:D
jianan and eleanor were next.
so... when the REAL THING started....
made water bombs. there was ALOT of kopi bags to be filled O__O so many! 400, i think. omgee.
amazing race was fun:D:D started off when sarah, peishan and i were walking away from the area(as we were supposed to) then peishan went,
"eh! i think... they start running already!"(already starting to look for the CC member.)
we looked for a moment at these 3 people running towards us before we took off.
we first went through Burger King then at the other side, there was this stairs leading to the upstairs arcade and i had a URGENT need to relief myself, so i ran up. (haha, i should have stayed there and played arcade:D) later went down and mainly ventured around the 'other side' area.
see? if i hadnt had left there i doubt they would have found me:D

i'm going to stop here first till another day. shall continue then:D

2008-10-16T05:57:00.000-07:00

iwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpianoiwanttoquitpiano
idontcarethere'sreallynopointinitthatiseeanymorei'mnotgaininganythingreally.
----------------------------------------

my legs have been rather aching from sitting crosslegged for pratically the whole time at school because of script checkings. ouch.

dont feel like blogging much today so TOO BAD! muahahaha>:D
-----------------------------------------

Yeah, I'm not angry and no I'm not upset
Its taken me a while, but this is what I learned:
Emotional attatchment is really not a threat
When I am simply not concerned

The things that I take on I soon shrug off
Cause I know no one will ever be content
With the way things are or with what they've got
So I'll just give up and now I'm just indifferent

You all laugh at me
Like i'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half
Just doesn't care

I must admit, all the words you spoke, I hated
Cause I don't see just how I can be motivated
Enough to break a sweat over a dying race
It seems our fate is something we've already embraced

Yeah, I'm not angry and no I'm not upset
Its taken me a while, but this is what I learned:
Emotional attatchment is really not a threat
When I am simply not concerned

You all laugh at me
Like i'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half
Just doesn't care

Yeah
Being apathetic's a pathetic way to be
But I don't care
What matters to you does not matter to me
Cause I don't care

So take a wild guess its
Like I just couldn't care less if
All the things you find impressive
Just blew up and made those messes
That you'll frantically repair
Like its a life or death affair
And all the while you're unaware
For this, you really shouldn't care
But its so hard to see
The reality that the end will be
The end of things
And our hearts are all we'll get to bring
So let's go ahead and make them worth something

You all laugh at me
Like i'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half
Just doesn't care

You all laugh at me
Like i'm not happy
With anything, anytime, anywhere
And the half of me's all about apathy
And the other half
Just doesn't care

I'm well aware that everything is a far cry from alright
I'm well aware that all of us can at times be too uptight
And possibly the remedy is a dose of apathy
You point your finger at you, and I'll point mine right back at me
Apathetic Way To Be - Relient K

2008-10-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

Life is really full of ups and downs.
one moment you're flying off somewhere, next moment you've crashed down into the hard cold ground. Ouch.

OKAY...
this morning was pretty much on the up side, though school was rather sian.
English wasnt too bad, i guess.
I AM SUPER HAPPY FOR SCIENCE!!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D
yeah, anyway. but as usual there are always those 'few' marks that COULD have been claimed.

things went lower as time passed.

band wasnt too bad, got pretty dizzy from all the breathing exercises and tuning(blowblowblowholdholdhold) but hopefully i'll get used to it soon.

some time later,
when everything just went lower,
and lower and lower and... KER-PLUNK.
i'm not going to talk about it.
_____________________________________

Forcing, venting,
Shouting, screaming,
Pouring hot coals right down my head.
Angering, frustrating,
Depress, demoralising,
Stepping hip-deep into seas of dread.
Arguing, fighting,
Quarreling, nagging,
Getting under skin, upsetting me.
Bickering, stressing,
Just downright irritating,
i dont want to care, drunk deep in apathy.

2008-10-14T02:18:00.000-07:00

my head feels so much lighter from the hair cut.
now you know how heavy having so much thick hair is.

I FEEL SO SIAN AT HOMEEE.
somebody whisk me away to my imaginary world...

2008-10-13T02:16:00.000-07:00

i've finished reading my first Agatha Christie, it seems like it was only yesterday i've bought it.
IT SUPER ROCKS CAN????
ahahah. so interesting! i want to get another one:D

tightened braces today, feeling the strain of it now. :<
sorry daphne! didnt exactly have 'fun' at the dentist. hahah
going to cut hair tomorrow!!! :>

yeah, i know this post's pretty short BUT it's longer than the last one! :]

2008-10-12T02:57:00.000-07:00

okay.
a quick short post cause my sis is bugging my mum to make me let her have her turn.
GUITAR HERO ROCKS.
there. now wasnt that short?

2008-10-09T21:31:00.001-07:00

eLearning.
is.
really.
SIAN.
i'd rather go to school.

wow. my plans.
Oct: 13th- T3 with this group
20th- baking cookies!
24th- class bonding!
and then on some saturday have lunch with dad's side.

aii. now that exams are over, it's like stoning everyday. the post exam activities that the school lined up are boring, and so not interesting at all.
someone get me out of here.

i ~~want~~ need a book.
------------------------------------------
Apathetic way to be;

2008-10-09T03:02:00.001-07:00

"mummy, guess what? today i learnt how to put on tampons!"
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

that was what i told my mum as soon as i got home;]
we had this GIRL talk during school. the lady was like
"the letter of the day is 'V'!"
practically everyone was like oO "...what...the..."
it went about from cycles to periods to underwear stuff, and to this... obscene, whatever you call it, video about how to wear tamps. they showed this drawn girl talking about putting on that thing, and even had a drawn version of the "wonderful" V, as quoted by the lady herself.
i bet most of us, including me, were too shocked at the fact that we were showed how to put on Ts with a video that we actually spent >50% of the video gaping and gawking and not even watching it throughout.
of course, typical oneonenians, with minds no need for further pollution, with enough knowledge of their own, there were also those that were laughing and enjoying themselves, and those that were squealing and going "OMG.. wth???"
cheryl and me: O___O
me: ...whoa.
cheryl: LOL sam!!
me: heyy look at daphne.
apparently daphne was staring at the screen with "what the?!?" scrawled all over her face.
disturbing thoughts. haha.
super weird okay.

PPG!!!! dadadadadadadummmm dadadadadadadummmm
Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup!!!! :)
mrs foo can be mojojojo xD

tomorrow E learning day...
i dont know whether to be happy or not. on the plus side it means catching up on sleep, but on the down side i wont be able to see my classmates. :\
----------------------------------------------------
can someone tell me a good website for downloading songs?

2008-10-08T06:27:00.000-07:00

from the break of dawn to the night's full moon
i know i'll see you really soon.
but if only i could make the moments with you last longer
and lessen the wait i have to be with you again
at yet a day another.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

honestly i think Ms Terry would have made a better living off marketing.
with her 'promoting' skills and all, the announcement that she made during assembly. i was like "what..." during the whole thing. seriously. $50 for a dinner in the hall?(optional) $22 for some history book that no one would buy anyway?(COMPULSARY.) that's just like daylight robbery, okay.
i want to go on a 'peaceful, silent' strike against this. i shall pay for my book, but leave a pile of it at the general office. that'll show them. oh, and if i'm in a bad mood, i'll probably vent my anger on it too.
well it's their problem.
!^#$^&*%* ______... ...

math+science field trip.
haha, jianan and eleanor wanted to be in the same group, so yeah
samantha the fairy godsister grants your wishes:D
i switched with eleanor, which would explain why i'm the only person with a reg number in the 30's while the others were <10's.
but then i got to be with Dafoooneee(dear friend and fellow bandit in crime) so YAY:D
overall it was a EXCITING and ENRICHING outing, i LEARNT MANY THINGS THERE. (haha, quoted by abby, when the teacher asked her.)
oh sure. i DEFINATELY gained new knowledge there alright, nothing which i've learnt in class. (notice the exaggerated, sarcastic words capitalised.)
but the fact that i could spend time with my classmates outside school, now that's nice:D

band:]
hahha. i wasnt as bad as i thought i would be, considering the fact that it was sectionals. basically we went through scales, tuned, and played jap book. oh and xiaonan's 'magic' show!!! xD
hahaha, she had these deck of cards, and she did this trick where she would supposedly 'mindread'. heh. telepathy, righttttt, if i had that ability it would be so COOL. hahaha.
anyway. for the last hour we(sec ones) were starting to slack yeah, hahahahha:D that was when the magic show came up. our seniors definately slack more than us during sects, but they ARE seniors after all. they can afford to, in a way, i guess.
sophia shared with me her 'lifestories' :D ai, so young already want to start sharing your life stories? hahaha.
oh, i ran one round around the circular block cause i couldnt hold 15 seconds(was laughing to myself too hard, heh.) it was so fun okay. the only time when i would find running fun. the breeze and weather was so nice! :D
anway.
oh later abby came up to me and asked:
abby: ARE YOU OBSESSED WITH BANDDDDD??????
me: eh? why you asking?
abby: i heard oneonenians are obsessed with band.
LOL. for me, enjoy band, probably, but obsessed?? i think daphne suits that criteria better. xD

tomorrow there's class makeover. whoopee. i am SO excited. -.-

oh i just realised Lavelle and i seem to share a similar taste in music. she let me listen to her blog tracks and now i want to download almost all of them. haha:D

me: mrs foo, what time are we leaving? i need to pass something to my senior.
mrs foo: almost as soon as we are dismissed. why? what is that? (points to bassoon case)
me: my instrument.
mrs foo: oh. what is it?
me: eh, a bassoon.
mrs foo: a what?
me: Baa-sssoooonnn.
mrs foo: oh. later you pass to your seniors when we are let out. then you pass your... trumpet to her.
me: it's a BASSOONnn.
mrs foo: oh, sure, whatever. your bazzoon.
aiyah. teachers nowadays. :\ haha.
---------------------------------------------
every moment spent with you,
every speech i say to you,
every conversation we have,
every thing we do together, interact,
i lie in my bed each night and recall
there cherished moments, till night falls
and i sleep away,
dreaming peacefully.

2008-10-06T22:17:00.000-07:00

QUIZ TIME yeah:]

1. The person who tag/pass you is?
Daphneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Choeng Moooon Yeeeee:)
2. Your relationship with him/her?
sec 1 classmate and fellow bandit! (haha, crime members:])
3. Your five impressions of him/her?
- OPTIMISTIC.
- cute :3
- childish
- smart
- 乖乖! haha
4. The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
Been there for me:D
5. The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?
"huh?" xD
6.If he/she becomes your lover you will?
erm. have to hide it? haha. heyy we're both straight okay. what's with that question.
7. If he/she became your lover, he/she will have to improve on?
haha, i dont know if there's anything to improve on. like i said WE ARE STRAIGHT PEOPLE.
8. If he/she became your enemy, you will?
be sad. :< jump down a building, become emo? haha.
9. If he/she became your enemy, the reason will be?
how would i know... some misunderstandings maybe?
10. The most desired thing you want to do for him/her is?
be a great friend:D
11. Your overall impression of him/her is?
a super nice friend who will stick her head out for you:D
12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?
erm.... i dont know, which is why i want TELEPATHY:D
13. The characters you love of yourself are?
i dont know.
14. On the contrary, the characters you hate of yourself are?
ermm, procrastination, indecisiveness, too-much-introvertedness, heh.
15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Samantha Tang Jia Yun:D
16. For people who care and like you, say something to them.
Me Loves You:]
17. Pass this quiz to 10 other people that you wish to know how they feel about you.
1: Daphne! (haha, pass back to you)
2: Sarah
3: Lavelle
4: Riny
5: Abby
6: Pei xin
7: Bao yu
8: Sophia
9: Afiqah
10: Cheryl (if she really does have a blog, which i shall find before i die:D)

18. Who is 4 having a relationship with? (Riny)
LOL. everyone she knows? like... >:] *hinthint*
19. Is 5 a male or a female? (Abby)
oh, erm, female, i think. hahaxD
20. If 6 and 7 are together, will it be a good thing? (Peixin and Baoyu)
er.. i dont think they've met. anyway, it would be freaky. oO
21. What is 8 studying about? (Sophia)
english, math, science, MT, humanities? oh and MEP! :D
22. When was the last time you had a chat with 9? (Afiqah)
Yesterday!
23. What kind of band does 1 like? (Daphne)
haha. TKGSSBand, hands down.
24. Does 2 have any siblings? (Sarah)
oh i dont know.
25. Will you woo 3? (Lavelle)
eehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. why would i??
26. How about 4? (Riny)
ew i think she's freak out.
27. Is 5 single? (Abby)
haha, i would think so.
28. What is the surname of 9? (Afiqah)
haha, i dont know. heh.
29. What's the hobby of 7? (BaoYu)
erm, being cute and cuddly? haha. i dont really know.
30. Do 6 and 10 get along well? (Peixin and Cheryl)
of COURSE they do!
31. Where is 2 studying at? (Sarah)
Tkgs 1e1'08, ground floor, left side of classroom towards entrance, somewhere at the front half:)
32. Talk something casually about 1. (Daphne)
She's an super sweet and awesome friend and has been a blessing to me:] *huggss!*
33. Where does 6 live at? (Peixin)
i dont really know. ohoh Singapore!
34. What colour does 3 like? (Lavelle)
YELLOW!
35. Are 2 and 8 best friends? (Sarah and Sophia)
no. i dont think they know each other that well either.
36. Does 10 have any pets? (Cheryl)
yeah, FISHBALL. :D
37. Is 1 the sexistest person in the world? (Daphne)
haha, i dont know. she's cute but sexy? heh, i dont know about what others think though. ;] why?? *looks suspiciously.*
38. What is 5 doing now?(Abby)
haha, probably enjoying her first few moments of freedom:D

2008-10-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

my curiousity kicked in again.
me: mum how is kissing like?
mum: ....why are you asking?
me: cause i'm curious?
mum: oO
me: i'm on the bridge of puberty! it's natural to be curious about these things when you're this age.
mum: you try kissing a coconut then.
me: O__O ...a coconut...?
mum: that's what daddy said.
me: but a coconut's so HARD. how is kissing a coconut like kissing someone?
mum: i dunno. that's dad said.
me: eeee... the coconut's so HARD leh.
LOL. kissing a coconut:D

where i spent pratically the rest of my morning:
mum: samantha i know where you'll be spending your makring days at.
me: huh? you do?
mum: yeah. downstairs, cleaning up your area.
me: ehhhh :< (later...) me: tomorrow no schooooolll:D mum: yay! then you can clean your study area! me: eeeeee... mum: you dont clean up no computer tomorrow okay. me: nnnoooooo problem! mum: you better clean up by tomorrow okay. me: eeeeeeeeeeee.... dont want tooo:( yeah well i did it anyway:D so proud of myself okay.

haha. it's like extreme makeover okay. take the mess and throw it around, then clean up.
--------------------------------------------------

2008-10-06T00:37:00.000-07:00

YESSAHH exams are OVER. :D
HALLELUJAHHH!!!!!
*screams*waves pompoms and banners*

now there's band to focus on. haha. ah, but i think i'm actually starting to enjoy it. combine, i mean. with the sec ones.
no, not sectional. but at least it wasnt as bad as last time. haha. ehhh i dont want to join main band:( i want to stay with my batch:D
haha, too bad for me. better enjoy combine practices with batches while i can.
i dont think i want to switch cca anymore next year, but my parents still think it's too much time occupying. aiiyahhh:<

mum: hey, who's cheryl and who's daphne?
*mum nods towards two crazy classmates of mine waving:D*
me: the one on the right's daph and the center one's cheryl.
mum: hey tab, dont you think they look alike?

haha, cheryl&daph, my mum AND sis agree you guys look alike. that's 30 people? heh, 30 and adding on. :]

haha, so many people are writing books now. :D
it's nice to imagine that your actually in the same class as someone who might become the next well-known novelist, artist, musician, athletic, actress, director, politician, or maybe even the next government candidate. oO
i wonder what it'll be like if say, 10 years later, we have a class reunion or something. good idea, no?
wonder how we'd be like then...
-------------------------------------------

2008-10-04T22:29:00.000-07:00

first things first, today:
churchhh:D
pastor David Chua was pretty good, i should say. in case you dont know where he's from he's a youth pastor from Cornerstone. from the way he preaches it's quite obvious he was meant for the younger generation:]
anyway. the sermon was about Remebering Your Creator, which was overall rather speakable to me.

after church. headed for lunch with tabi and jo. i managed to motivate jo to hurry with his eating with ice lemon tea. haha:)
oh and. i had a little experience in which showed me how God really does hear our prayers and answers us. even if we may feel that he does not seem to hear or answer, it just takes abit of noticing to see that he had already answered. unfortunately many times people fail to see that NO and WAIT are also answers.
anyway.
so there i was, buying jo's ice lemon tea which i promised him, and i got exploring around the supermarket. it was rather big, actually, comparing from its view outside. i had some trouble finding the can drink even though i had seen some ILT cans already, but i didnt want to buy them in case jo scolded me for not buying Seasons brand ILT.
so i said, not too loudly,"dear God. please help me find that ILT can."
as i looked i saw a ILT bottle(bigger in size and more $$), but as i reached i felt that i should continue looking.
so i continued, and i came to this part where i had to either go right or left.
i heard this small voice telling me,"go left."
but i replied,"ah, anyway will still go there if i dont find it. try right also can right?"
i went right, only to find nothing. so i went left.
and there it was, just as the voice had said.
well i learnt something else too. this may just be a small experience but it has taught me quite alot.
- God DOES hear and answer our prayers
- He will always do, and help us out, no matter how small the situation is.
- sometimes obedience is critical. we need to learn to stop trusting in ourselves and our instincts and just obey God. in my case today disobedience got me taking more time than i should have if i had listened, thus making me queue in a longer queue. however, in other times the consequence may not be so light.
but God is gracious, and He will definately get you back on track if you let Him. see, God is powerful and strong, but He isnt forceful or mean. He wont slap you hard in the face or throw lightning at you for doing something stupid. He's gentle, but sometimes we just have to listen to him and obey. that is one area i find many of us, including me, need to work on badly.
-----------------------------------------------
V1
Careless, I am reckless
I'm a wrong way traveling
slowly unraveling shell of a man.
Burnout, I'm so numb now
that the fires just an ember way down
in the corner of my cold, cold heart.
Lord this time, I'll make it right
here at the altar I lay my life.
Your kingdom come,
but my will was done

C
My heart is broke as I cry
like so many time before.
But my eyes are
dry before I leave the floor.
O, Lord I try (I try)
but this time Jesus how can I be sure
I will not lose my follow through,
between the altar and the door.

V2
Here at the altar,
oh my world is so black and white
how could I ever falter,
what you've shown me to be right?
Lord this time (Lord this time)
I'll make it right (I'll make it right)
Here at the altar I lay my life
Your kingdom come
but my will was done

B
I'm trying so hard,
to stop trying do hard,
just let You be who You are Lord,
who you are in me.
Jesus, I'm trying so hard
to stop trying so hard
just let You be who You are
Lord who you are in me.

casting crowns - the Altar and the Door

2008-10-03T00:30:00.000-07:00

"weird is normal, so normal is weird."
"HIS-story?? what about YOUR-story????"
---------------------------------------

okay. so there was History and MT paper 1 today. if you ask me it's probably the WORST combination of sec1 exams EVER. History already must write and cram so much and then they still want to put in Chinese somemore? History wasnt too bad, i guess the cramming did pay off. as for MT...
Chinese was worse than _____.
yeah. fill in the blank with something you hate.
@*#$@%^%( chinese paper
so hard okay. my mind blanked out and i wrote like some NT primary 4 kid. all i could think of was that stupid story that Doris laoshi told us about this girl that fell from her apartment and died.
oh, that's what i wrote, anyway.
at the middle of the paper i got so fed up i crushed the spare paper and soaked it with sweat from my palms, oh and i broke that stick thingie off my pen cap.
it felt good man:D

2 more papers left!!!!
haha i so look forward to the end of exams man. so much i want to do.
but it's LIT and CHINESE. on the same day. i'll be super relieved when it's over okay.
ARGH. why cant they let us get over our MT in one day?

i think vanessa lim of 1/6 is crazily mental.
wait. i dont think. i KNOW.
haha. it's the truth okay. she has this thing about jumping onto people and pulling them around and shaking them.
kind of reminds me of someone else too.. hmm. ;)
-------------------------------------
they always say, "aiyah, it's okay, i'm still alive" until it's too late.

2008-10-02T04:01:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know I may end up failing too
But I know You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
(Tired of being what you want me to be)
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
(Tired of being what you want me to be)

numb - Linkin Park
-------------------------------------------

jump, or I will.

i really need a break
all this work to take
just so hard on me
you see
it's all around
all weighing me down
the pressure's building up
so tight

stretching up my brain
making me insane
the stress is hard to hold
down now
what you want of me
what you want to see
is just adding up
this agony

why do you want
so much from me
this pain is making me crazy
i'm going to peel out soon
and fly off to the moon
away from this and you
why do you try
so hard for me
it's overloading me you see
i want to run away
to serenity today
and get away, be free

i know you want me to be
sucessful and happy
but this is just to much
for me
all that i could see
was selfishness to me
do you even care how i feel
to this

well sure hard work pays off too
but this is just like overkill
too much of one
break out and go away
i know you think it's best for me
but even birds must leave home and be
free to live
to fly to breathe
to look inside themselves, believe

2008-10-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

hey guys. i dont think i can do a proper post yeah, sorry. :\
so i'll just get on to doing what i want to.
alright. so i'm going to dedicate a song to my dear 1e1'nains! :D

Invincible - Muse
V1
Follow through
Make your dreams come true
Don't give up the fight
You will be alright
Cause there's no one like you in the universe

V2
Don't be afraid
What your mind consumes
You should make a stand
Stand up for what you believe
And tonight we can truly say
Together we're invincible

C
During the struggle
They will pull us down
But please, please lets use this chance
To turn things around
And tonight we can truly say
Together we're invincible

V3
Do it on your own
It makes no difference to me
What you leave behind
What you choose to be
And whatever they say
Your soul's unbreakable

E
Together we're invincible
Together we're invincible

(V1, V2, C, V3, C, Int, C, E)
Invincible - Muse

"together we're invincible"
yeah 1e1! :D
------------------------------------
1e1s' of the world, untie!

2008-09-28T03:59:00.001-07:00

when i'm...
sad/upset/depressed/tired, i dont need your "are you okay"s, i just need a hug. (to show you really care.)
angry/pissed/annoyed, i dont need your avoidance, i just need your cooperation. (to show you actually take heed of me.)
happy/excited/hyper, i dont need your ignorance, i just need your smile. (to show you want to share the moment.)
all these, just to show what a friend you are. (to laugh together, to cry together. to help and show concern, to look out for each other.)
--------------------------------------------

2008-09-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

she posted it.

anyway. doesnt mean she can ever hack into my account. HAHAHHAHA huiying!!!! :D
Hy: I didn't want t0 anyways. I don't intend to hack it. I just want to type something on it. Plus you are nice
me: haha. that's the nicest thing you said to me man. :D

cya peeps!

2008-09-24T20:51:00.000-07:00

HY: i want to post on your blog.
Me:NO.
HY:Meanie. I want to and I will. Just did. HA! And I'm going to post it immediately
Me:no, you didnt. i'm still typing here.
Hy: I'm pressing the publish now. Haha. And to all the readers out there, YAY!!! managed to post something on Sammy's blog. I'm so happy. KAY. gOING TO PUBLISH IT NOW. Whoops. Typo. I don't care. I'm posting it.