comparison for the pessimist, connection for the optimist.
-------
made fish tofu burger for home ec. it's not as bad tasting as it sounds, heh.
eunice is a damn good cook, yeah:]
sigh. why do i always get caught in the middle?
i seriously hate that.
being in between a social situation.
two towers having a war with each other, and me in the center of it all.
it's a wonder i havent been shot by an arrow yet.
played flip the coin during recess with fiqah, chuyi and addie, were we'd ask a question and fiq would flip two coins. two heads: yes, one head: maybe, no heads: no. haha, nothing to be taken seriously, but it was retardedly fun.
operation cleanup.
i dont know why they want to try and give it a 'cool' name for it, because firstly, it doesnt even sound cool and secondly, it makes us all go "uh, whatever."
luckily 21nians make almost everything fun:D
sang 'work songs' and other random songs whlie cleaning up the classroom.
i heart 2e1!!!
results day = dooms day.
heh, turns out it wasnt so bad.
but why do i have a feeling i'll regret saying this later?
huh.
last day of school.
hugged lots of people today:]
i'm going to miss you peeps!
dont get upset over the results okay.
next semester can do better:D
why do i have a horrible feeling that i'm going to contradict every happy thing i said here very soon?
-------
edit-
why do they always compare the student's individual results to the rest of the cohort's?
it's so unfair..
it like at first, i thought my results were okay. i mean hey, i DID improve from last term's.
but then i bring it home, show my parents, and they all start going about how much better i COULD have done, start asking why i didnt do better,
"this is careless, you could have gotten higher"
"just two more marks to get an A. just TWO MORE MARKS."
"why are you at a band 4? that's like the lower 50% of the cohort you know."
"your results may be okay, but look, rest of the cohort's ahead. you have to catch up!"
UGHHHHHH.
look, i tried my best, i passed, i got reasonable if not good grades, i got eligible for a triple science class.
yes, i know i could do better, i know i must try to improve.
but is it so HARD just to say
"you tried your best. i'm proud of you."
at least something abit encouraging? is it SO HARD??
do they have any idea how demoralising it is when our efforts go unappreciated?
i just want to get away fmo here, to my secret place, and just cry, scream, whatever myself out.
God...
i hate it.
just earlier today i was happy about my results and trying to comfort people who werent so happy with theirs.
just earlier today i was smiling.
but now.
why do i end up contradicting myself?
-------
edit-
hey lavelle.
thanks for reminding me:]
i feel much better now.
thanks for being there for me and for all your encouragement.
i shall remember the happy pills,
hope you do too:D
dont care about that that old auntie teacher lah.
she can go let her old old heart get the better of her.
then we go ship her off to Madagascar and hopefully she'll become young and rejuvinated again and become a nice, young person.
then you wont have to be scared.
thats's our plan okay?
set ahh. just dont tell her. shh-- :D